Yesterday we had a meeting at St B's to hear a report from John and Ann Coles who have just come back from visiting Lakeland, Florida.I had very high expectations because I’ve been hearing stories about people coming back from Florida and starting little revivals in their hometowns.
Finally I would experience the undeniable, tangible presence of God.
Before the meeting, I saw a lady on crutches and thought to myself – she is going to get healed tonight
Steve (my ‘crush’) led worship and then John and Anne shared stories that they had heard from people who had been healed at the meetings they'd attended – which were pretty amazing. We watched a couple of video clips of the services and the Coles’ asked us to note the AUTHORITY used to heal people.
A big revelation for me yesterday was Jesus never actually prayed for healing… instead he COMMANDED sickness to leave bodies.
If indeed we take Jesus at His word when He said in Mark 16: 17,18 (NIV)
And these signs will accompany those who believe: In my Name…they will place their hands on sick people, and they will get well
And again in John 14:12
I tell you the truth; anyone who has faith in me will do what I am doing. He will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father
Then healings should be a normal part of our Christian lives
We usually hear of great healings in the Third World (Africa, Asia), but in Lakeland God has demonstrated that the same can happen in the Western World too.
With this in mind, those in need of healing were asked to stand up – and those around to lay hands on them and command healing. I looked around for the lady in crutches but couldn’t see her because I was stuck behind the tech team desk doing the AV!
John asked for testimonies from those who had experienced healing – a few people with irregular heartbeats, migraines, constricted throats came forward to say that they experienced something and believe they were healed
At the conclusion of the service we prayed for the fire of God to fall upon us, so that we could go out with power into the world that we live in –workplaces, homes, schools, streets.
I don’t know why I never feel anything at these meetings. Some people around me were crying out, others were doing this ‘Pentacostal body convulsion’ thing and others were on the floor. So I closed my eyes against distractions (Steve… although could still hear his voice and keyboard playing) and tried to manufacture some form of emotion – squeezed out a few tears but nothing else. I don’t want to fall into the trap of mimicking because that would be hypocritical! I guess what I really wanted was for God to call me by name, like He did once at a public meeting in Glasgow in 1994.
Perhaps I am not pressing in enough (whatever that means) or haven’t reached the point of desperation! In my heart, I really want to have more of God’s power, to be able to live a genuine Christian life, to enjoy greater intimacy, get excited and tell others about Him and bring them into the fold.
I want to go up to the girl at work with arthritis, and command it to leave her body in Jesus name! I’m telling you… she would definitely believe in Jesus.
But to use the jargon… I haven’t caught the fire! I tried fasting yesterday but in the afternoon crumbled at the first sign of a biscuit (10 biscuits later…); the last 3 days I have been following the Bible reading plan (Isaiah 33, 34, 35 )… but so far no revelations and can’t find any practical application. Yesterday at the meeting, feeling like an outsider, thoughts were running through my mind such as… “See you don’t fit in. In fact you don’t fit in anywhere. There’s no point in living. You should kill yourself”
I took command of those and said out loud
“I refuse to believe those thoughts. They are lies from the enemy. I am a child of God, Precious in His sight”
Felt a bit like an idiot saying it, but I CANNOT even begin to entertain such dark thoughts…
Maybe I am possessed by a demon?
But how?
I don’t think so!
Maybe tonight at Alpha or at Home Group tomorrow I’ll ask people to pray for me!
