Examinations

I'm preparing for my exams next week.

I haven't done exams in ermmm 13 years. It's really takes discipline to study. One of my issues is the even though I'm quick at grasping broad concepts, I can't be asked to learn details. Examiners are obsessed with detail. Particularly really boring subjects like Corporate Governance and Risk Management. Hey you, I saw that yawn.

My employer gave me 2 weeks study leave. A week's already gone by (so fast). During this time I've had lovely lie- in's in the mornings, wandered up and down the flat tidying things, doing laundry, tried out new recipes (to my younger sisters' delight) - everything except actually study. I've squeezed in an hour or so everyday, but mind wanders and I'm up making another cup of tea

So I really need prayer at this moment. That God helps me make the most of the time left

Online TV

Online TV streaming and an unlimited download limit from my broadband provider have been a blessing for me. I no longer have to plan my busy social life around my favourite TV programmes because I can always catch up later online.

Advantages of this is that I can pause, forward, rewind, don’t have to buy overpriced DVD box sets (which I only ever watch once). I can even watch episodes that are not yet out in the UK– as I get perverse pleasure from telling my friends what’s going to happen next... Mwah ha ha haha ha ha

Ehem..

The thing is that I was so excited about catching up on 30 Rock, Ugly Betty, Privileged; Desperate Housewives, X factor, Being Erica, the Book Group, The IT Crowd etc., that I ended up watching ALL the episodes. I have now run out of programmes to watch

So I googled ‘American TV romcoms’ and stumbled across 'Drop Dead Diva'. It’s about a would-be model called Deb who has a fatal accoident. While she is being processed by an angel called Fred at the pearly gates, he tells her that she is a self centred zero – no good or bad deeds in life. While he is deciding what to do with her, they have an argument and she hits the return button on his computer. This sends her soul back to earth where it enters the body of recently vacated soul –a plus size lawyer called Jane. As you can imagine this is a bit of shock to Deb who used to be size zero and always got by on her good looks. She isn’t allowed to tell anyone that she’s Deb. Plus side is that she gets Jane’s IQ. Fred gets demoted to her guardian angel. And TWIST…Deb’s boyfriend Grayson works in Jane’s firm….
Okay, when you write it out it doesn’t sound great, but it really is compelling viewing. It’s so refreshing when the protagonist in a programme is a big woman in her early 30’s. You get to see things like the bias and judgement people have against big women. You feel her pain when she is powerless to stop Grayson from falling in love with her office nemesis - super bitch Kim. I also just love the clothes Jane wears.
The last episode of Series 1 ended on a cliff hanger. I hear they’ve commissioned a second series.
I can’t wait!

The Secret

My younger sister asked me,

“What do you want in a guy?”

I launched into a list of ‘don’t wants’, which she interrupted with

“I didn’t ask you what you don’t want, I asked what you WANT?”

Hmm – never thought about that!

She lent to me a book called ‘The Secret’ by Rhonda Byrne– which is about the Law of Attraction. The basic premise of this law is that ‘like’ attracts ‘like’. The things you focus on – negative and positive- become your reality. So if you focus on positive stuff, you attract positive things and so with the negative.

As a Christian (or whatever I am these days), my knee jerk reaction is to dismiss ‘The Secret’ – after all it is New Age stuff. The problem with New Age is that it seeks to de-personalise and control God, by reducing Him to terms like ‘ the universe’ or ‘Energy’ or ‘the Force’. I have too much respect for God to even think that I can begin to control Him. Don’t think I haven’t tried it. Like many Christians I am guilty of trying to manipulate God through prayer

But there’s something to be learned from the Secret. After all truth is truth - whether it is in your doctrine or not. Most of the principles in the Secret are borrowed from the Bible. These Biblical principles aren’t restricted to just Christians. Regardless of who you are, if you apply them, they will work.

For example Faith - in the Bible, the book of Hebrews 11:1 (New International Version) says that faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. The book of James 2: 17 says that - Faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead

In the Secret, a story is told to support the statement - When you want to attract something in your life make sure your actions don’t contradict your desires

Here’s an extract

…a story of a woman who wanted to attract the perfect partner into her life. She had done all the right things: She got clear about what she wanted him to be like, made a detailed list of all his qualities and visualised him in her life. Despite doing all these things there was no sign of him.

Then one day as she arrived home and was parking her car in the middle of the garage, she gasped as she realised that her actions were contradicting what she wanted. If her car was in the middle of the garage, there was no room for her perfect partner’s car. Her actions were powerfully saying to the Universe that she did not believe she was going to receive what she had asked for. So she immediately cleaned up her garage and parked her car to one side leaving space for her perfect partner’s car on the other side.

The story goes on about her doing the same thing about her making space in her wardrobe bed and concludes with, After taking all these powerful actions and acting as if she had already received her perfect partner, he arrived in her life and they are now happily married

Hang on; isn’t this faith coupled with action? A Biblical Principle?

So fired up with this story I decided to apply some faith to my life – and what a result.

I wrote a list of all the things I wanted in the perfect partner e.g. nice teeth, taller than me, educated, musical, middle class, spiritual, extrovert etc and then started acting as if he’d already arrived in my life. (Okay I haven’t replaced my single bed- would that be going too far?)

The next day, as I was waiting for my train, a guy randomly started talking to me and conversation ended with him giving me his number and asking me to call him if I wanted to go out for a drink. He pretty much fit the brief. I was amazed. Today I met up with him for coffee, which was nice, but spark was somewhat diminished. The learning point is that I need to revise my criteria – not make it focussed on external. Talking to him made me realise there are other things I want in a guy – which he didn’t have.

This is exciting stuff!

Roller coaster emotions

Yeah, this week's been pretty rough, but by the grace of God I'll get through it

I'm so glad I have girlfriends to talk to, who are not fazed by my tears and raw emotions.

Predestination and free will

Calvinists believe that God has divided humanity into two groups. One group is "the elected" and includes all those God has chosen to know him. The rest will remain ignorant of God, and the Gospel. They are damned and will spend eternity in hell without any hope of mercy or cessation of the extreme tortures.

Personally, I think this is rather unfair position. Most of us evangelical Christians put our best efforts towards preaching the gospel to as many people as possible so that they have the opportunity to decide whether they want to accept or reject it. We believe that every one has free will and God does not impose on this.

This may not be biblical but as I understand it (blame it on 4 years Law school), certain conditions must exist before someone can exercise free will ergo: -

1) A person must make an informed decision – having understood the full implications of what they are rejecting or accepting.
2) The person must have a choice in the matter

In criminal law, if the defence can prove that at the time a criminal act was committed, the accused did not know or understand what they were doing, or had no choice in the matter (such as self defence in murder trial) then they are entitled to an acquittal based on diminished or no responsibility. (or they lacked the mens rea if you really want to be technical here)

But if, according to the Calvinists, a persons’ fate has already been decided by God, then clearly they had no choice to begin with? So where's the free will?

I was airing my frustration about this to my friend Jody the other day (don’t act all surprised… I do have deep conversation sometimes!!!). I enjoy hanging out with Jody. We spend a lot of time spinning out wacky story lines for my bestseller (patience my friend... release is imminent...ehem... just need to start writing). She believes in predestination but not in the way that the Calvanists do.

Jody came up with this profound insight. Maybe we do have free will? Maybe there are a myriad of choices that we could make, and God can see how each plays out to their conclusion?

Have you seen the film 'Sliding Doors'? It begins with a woman called Helen on her way home after being fired from her job. The film deals with two separate scenarios that evolve from Helen (a) catching or (b) missing a train. The viewer sees the two stories played out alongside each other. In one story she becomes happy and desperately unhappy in the other.

Perhaps we are all like Helen? But instead of 2 scenarios, there are SEVERAL scenarios, and God knows and sees All Of Them? Or maybe it's what my friend Rene said when I included him in the discussion a few days later

'...that every single alternate possibility that they (people) ever could have chosen has played out in trillions of parallel universes....'

Maybe God doesn't know EXACTLY which particular choice (out of the several) that we'll make at the 'decision points' of our lives. That would be a little more exciting for Him, I think...

But then again I'm just a human trying to understand a big God! So I'll stop here instead of speculating even further

But it makes you think, dunnit?

Wedding Drama

Last Wednesday at 10.30pm I received a phone call from my friend.

"Kim have you got a bridesmaid dress, I am getting married next weekend?"

????

"Kim, Kim, you still there?"

"Sorry, I thought you said you were getting married next weekend?"

"Yes. That's what I said"

I established a few facts like:- she wasn't winding me up and definitely not pregnant ("are you sure?" "Yes, I'm sure" "Really?" "I'd know if I was pregnant, wouldn't I?"

So what preparations have been made so far... Urm... did you say "nothing ?"

Honestly!!

If it was just the registry ceremony that would have been ok, but there's the all important wedding reception to think about! Why do we need wedding receptions anyway? Stressful and a waste of time and money!

It is so hard to plan a last minute wedding on a very tight budget? As in soooo tight with bride and groom both unemployed and no savings! The fact that it's a last minute thing means that none of us friends had enough notice to put some money together to make a contribution. Most of us thought they'd get married next year not next week?!!

The wedding is taking place in Richmond registry office. Richmond is an affluent area, which translates into NOT CHEAP. It's been tricky finding a venue for the reception. On Thursday evening we came across a charming Italian restaurant/wine bar with a private dining area that is available next Saturday. The manager, Stefano is not charging us for hire or decoration of the room. The menu has a choice of 4 starters, 4 mains and 4 desserts; with canapes to start and coffee to finish- and works out to £28 a head. There is also a wide range of wines and champagnes to suit all budgets. He's not even taking a down payment. I just loved it. However, the groom is not too keen on the restaurant. Yes it's a bit on the cosy side, but there are only 19 guests in a space normally used for parties of up to 25. AND he is only charging us for 19....
I wish he would trust my judgement just once. It's not like as if he has the budget to be fussy. He reminds me of that 'Location, Location, Location' show on Channel 4 where the househunters on the lowest budgets are the fussiest! You can almost feel the Kirsty and Phils frustration.

It's a truth universally acknowledged that the less money you have, the MORE you have to COMPROMISE.

The other option was the Richmond Hill Hotel. It's plus points were a stately function room with lots of space and high ceilings. Also location as it is close to the registry office and Richmond park where the wedding party will be taking photos after the ceremony. However, the menu offers a limited choice of only 2 starters (one has to be soup), a vegatarian or meat main dish and only one dessert - for £32.50 per head! This is in addition to the £120 for room hire. Because the room is so big, you'd notice if it wasn't decorated - this will cost some more. The cheapest wine on the menu is £20, and it isn't even a good wine. A bottle of champagne is £70!!!

So there you have it cosy and cheaper or the stately expensive one?

Would be easier if they just scrapped the whole reception idea and just used the money for their honeymoon.

The Weekend break that never was

I am supposed to be in Dublin right now.

When Ryanair put on a special offer of £1 flights a couple of months ago my friend Rene asked if I wanted to go with him for a ‘non-romantic weekend in Dublin”. For £2? SURE!!

I have been boasting to all who would hear (yeah I know... first class irritant me). It’s not every day that you get a £2 return flight to Dublin? And seeing that we’d spent so little on flights we splashed out on a nice hotel right in the city centre. Separate bedrooms of course!!

But I’m not in Dublin…

On Friday when checking in online, I couldn’t print out the boarding pass for the flight back from Dublin. I phoned up the Ryanair customer service desk who explained that boarding passes couldn’t be printed until 15 days before the flight

“ Yes I know that. My return flight is on Monday”

“But ma,am it says here that your flight is the 14 October?

“Yeah. That. Is. MONDAY. It. Won’t. Let. Me. Print. Out. My. Boarding. Pass” Honestly. Where do they get these people!!!

Silence

“Madam, 14 October is a month away”

How could I have missed that? shit shit shit

With a sheepish “thank you for your help” I checked frantically for any cheap flights back on the 14th September – the cheapest was £73. Quick calculations brought me to the sad conclusion that my cheap weekend break was not working out to be so cheap after all. A phone call to Rene to let him know about the change of plan – he just laughed. I also had to cancel the hotel booking and got hit with a hefty late cancellation fee of £69. Ouch

To add insult to injury, I’ve spent all weekend indoors nursing a cold (It’s not swine flu) I just hate being sick

Well the good news is that those £1 deals come around again and you can be sure I’ll NEVER make that mistake again.