Arghh!!!!!

Our House Group is studying "The Purpose Driven Life" by Rick Warren.

We read a chapter a day and meet up for stimulating weekly discussions. I feel that as we share from our hearts, we are drawing closer to each other. I have developed a special fondness for each and every one of them- except Martin. In last week's discussion he came out with this theory about sin being passed on by the Male sperm because Jesus was conceived of a virgin and had no sin... Therefore sin is passed on through the male sperm! Just how is this a useful contribution to a discussion on infant baptism? Who bloody cares where sin comes from anyway?

Actually he really wound me up at Trevor's party last Saturday! Because I'd invited other House Group members to a "Murder Mystery" dinner that I'm organising over Easter, I felt obliged to ask Martin too. He pulls out his palm pilot, and says "Oh, I'm free that evening but can't confirm anything because Trevor and I might have plans that weekend!" (does Trevor, who is in the other room, have a say in this?) "We are going away on a holiday which we haven't booked yet... don't know what day we'll leave... Haven't planned..." Bla bla bla!

Such 'enthusiasm'!

At this point I am deeply regretting why I asked him in the first place. Why can't he just say he doesn't WANT to come for the dinner instead of stalling with all manner of excuses. I explain that when planning a"Murder Mystery"dinner, I really need confirmations because I have to assign characters, give guests plenty of time to look for the right costumes and also plan the meal. If someone doesn't show up or cancels at the last minute, it spoils everything! And since nothing's been agreed yet with Trevor, they could plan around the dinner! I can't believe it... I'm actually begging this moron to come.

He sighs angrily and announces to the entire party,

"Alright, the only thing I can confirm is that I WON'T be coming then!" Whips out palm pilot... deletes my name and then storms out the room. House Group leader Phil (bless him), breaks up the awkward silence that ensues with

"Oh, is that Martin having a "Martin" moment?

Martin, What a Juvenile idiot - no wonder he's still single! Social skills, tact, sensitivity... ZERO!!

For one moment, I consider invitingTrevor, just out of spite, but I think to myself "No Kim, that is not the Christian attitude. Just drop it!" It would give me profound satisfaction if Trevor and the rest of House Group came, leaving Martin with NOTHING to do but stare at his palm pilot all evening! Oh yeah! The idea appeals to me! I just might phone Trevor.

The funny thing is that, earlier, one of the girl's mentioned that when she first joined House Group, she found Martin really irritating, but apparently he's now growing on her. To which I responded, "Well I've just joined House Group!"

Go figure!

Of Sitcoms and Real Life

I didn’t realise how much I liked "Will & Grace" until I spent the money that I’d set aside for new trainers on Series 2 and 3 DVD'S (Shows how much I rate personal fitness on my list of priorities).
A quick summary for the uninitiated: -
‘Will & Grace’ is a sitcom revolving around the life of 4 people living in New York. Will is a lawyer, uptight, control freak, gay and mostly unlucky in love. Grace, his best friend and roommate is an interior designer, self-obsessed, competitive, with the unfortunate habit of dating gay men. Karen is Grace’s office assistant who comes into work at 10.30, takes 4-hour lunch breaks and spends the time in between catalogue shopping, filing her nails and criticising Grace’s dress sense. Jack is the unemployed, free loading, flamboyantly gay ‘juvenile’ one.

The relationship between the 2 characters Will & Grace echoes my previous relationships with guys. I can relate to that special ‘closeness' that is a touch above sibling relationship and below the boyfriend/girlfriend stuff. This kind of relationship is characterised by fierce competition, inside jokes, shared interests, advice, morale support.. bitter arguments. Most people find it weird for a grown man and woman to be ‘best friends’. Such a concept does not exist in Uganda. If 2 people of the opposite sex are regularly seen together, then clearly “There is ‘Something' between them!”
For me that "Something" was a level of immaturity that existed to meet short term companionship needs without the inconvenience of dealing with real issues of commitment and intimacy. Perhaps this kind of relationship only lasts in the ‘Sitcom world’. My friend Stephen recognised this, decided to grow up and move on, while I desperately clung on to my “security blanket”. Suddenly we were tugging in different directions, and it all ripped painfully apart.
I was reading today in ‘The Purpose Driven Life’ by Rick Warren’s, that God’s ultimate goal for my life on earth is not comfort, but character development. Lately I feel my turn has come and God is suddenly in the habit of tipping me out of my comfort zone. Following the demise of my 7-year friendship, I am now forced to examine the real reason why I am only attracted to ‘unavailable’ men and freak out every time a guy shows interest. Perhaps I am meant to be Single? Sounds reasonable enough. However, I know it just does not wash. If I'm ever to grow up emotionally, I should be willing to take a risk and dive head first into this scary world of commitment and sharing

The Ghetto!

For the last few weeks I’ve been volunteering with the Princes Trust as a Development Coach to a bunch of kids aged 16 – 20. They come from a variety of backgrounds- ex offenders, school dropouts, single parent or foster homes; but all lack self confidence and share a pessimistic view on life characteristic of the rough neighbourhoods they come from, “Da Hoods!” or “Da Ghettos!” The Princes Trust Team programme is designed to help young people like these, from marginalized backgrounds, who are ‘unemployed, unexcited and unsure’ of their future 'get out of the box’ and learn practical skills like team working, tolerance, communication, leadership etc that will help in a job and in life
To communicate, I had to go through a crash course in “street” which is “basikly” speak really fast “yer?” and use words like “uknowamean?” (You know what I mean?); “Koching” (relaxing with friends); “bare” (numerous); “drawing” (smoking weed… don’t ask); “Blood”/“Bruv” (close friend or brother) “Laow it!” (I object strongly) and “innit?” (Isn’t it?)

"You get me?"

I’m not sure what a Development Coach does, so I’m kind of winging it by listening, giving advice, praising, mucking in with team activities and more recently editing CV’s and job application letters (a complete translation and rewrite in some cases)
In weeks 3 and 4, the kids undertook a Community Project where they fundraised for and converted a local primary school’s disused shed into an Art Storage Shed. Despite the rain, snow and subzero conditions, I was impressed to see that most of them showed up everyday and took ownership of the project. As you can see, on the last day I was roped in to artistically paint one of the tables. However, later on it was decided unanimously by the Team to paint over my artwork with unimaginative basic yellow!
That’s ok… I don’t care… even the famous Van Gogh, did not get much recognition during his lifetime!