Friday, January 27, 2006

Salsa - Update

You may recall from my last blog but one, that I promised to stay to the Open Club after the dance lesson and ask at least one guy for a dance!

Fortunately, my last partner from the lesson was a fellow beginner, so it was only natural for me to suggest that we stay on and practice what we'd learned. After that, I asked his friend for a little practice session too. It felt great although after a while proved to be bit boring as we repeated the same sequence (4 steps) over and over again!

Looking across the room, I spotted the guy from my first class 2 weeks ago who'd said he'd look out for me, and made a bee line for him. He's been going for 4 months and taught me some of the new moves! It was such a pleasure to dance with him! His name is Eric! Good dancer! Hope he comes next week so that at least I'm assured of a dance!

It felt good to step out like that and much more fun!

Thursday, January 26, 2006

The Verdict on Speed dating!

The thought of voluntarily putting myself under the spot light, with only 3 minutes to make an impression was quite daunting! What the heck do you say?

Before the session we huddled into nervous little hetero groups covertly checking out the "talent" on the other side! One guy in particular caught my eye- tall, well dressed, good looking black man! Not bad at all! He was receiving lots of appreciative glances from the ladies...

Okay, the MC hands out score cards, explains the rules i.e. talk to each other for 3 minutes, when the bell goes, guys move on to the next girl. Write down the persons' name and number, something memorable about them and then score them as a "Yes, No or Friend (in my book that means 'maybe')" Tomorrow when you log on to the website, enter your scores and see if you have any matches.

Bing!

It didn't really work out with the first guy- he was timid, nervous, soft spoken and lost me when he started talking about his interests which included reading non-fiction and other dry topics. What I DO remember is that Joe Legend's "Ordinary People" was playing in the background, and this guys lips were moving in time to the music! It was all I could do to hold back the involuntary sigh of relief when the bell signalled the end of the session!

Thankfully it was not all bad! There were some really interesting guys. The black guy turned out to be a Police Officer from a rough neighbourhood who likes Greek Mythology??!!!

No one really did it for me! My heart didn't skip a beat or anything. There were a lot of "maybes" and I was quite pleased the next day, when I logged on, to see that 3 out of the 5 'maybes' thought the same. I've sent them my email address and I guess I just have to wait? Police man didn't like me - it must have been the funny look I gave him when he said " I just love Greek Mythology"


Final Verdict: Many times I have gone to a party, seen a guy that I liked, but never had the opportunity to say anything beyond "Hi!" Speed dating ensures you get the undivided attention of every man in the room for at least 3 minutes!

Would I do it again? Probably, if I had nothing else to do that evening and it was free! £20 is a bit pricey and was quite disappointed to see that it didn't include free drinks.

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

The quest for a man!

On Saturday I attended a Singles Seminar. The main theme was "take more risks and get out of the comfort zone" . The reason why most of us 30 somethings are still single is that we are reluctant to stick out our necks when it comes to the area of relationships.

This isn't news to me, I've known it for a long time

Take for example my Salsa class... I normally rush off after the lesson because I'm afraid of looking awkward during the open club. Actually I'm TERRIFIED of standing all alone at the bar for 2 hours, with no one asking me to dance! Well, tomorrow, I going to ASK someone for a dance! Take a risk! If they say yes, then great! If they say no- shrug it off and move on the next person

One thing that came out from my seminar is that guys don't mind women asking them out on dates. The challenge is to make a list of all the single guys you know and ask them out on dates.
The only single guys I know are the 2 in my House Group. Today, under the guise of a general email, I invited them out for a movie in a couple of weeks time. One of them came back to me and said he'd come. So I guess that's progress... I've taken a risk!

To really show that I'm going out on a limb, I'll be Christian Speed Dating tonight! This is when a equal number of men and women, meet up in a group and each get 3 minutes to talk to each other. Afterwards, you note down those who interested you and submit an anonymous list to the organisers. If someone on your list picks you... it's a match! Fingers crossed for tonight! I'll keep you posted!

Not doing so well on those resolutions...

I'm going to buy Size 18 trousers!

The whole exercise programme hasn't gone according to plan, in fact, it hasn't gone... period!

I fell sick in week 2, and couldn't go to the gym or for Salsa!
In week 3, I could have gone, but temperatures have dipped to 5 degrees and the only thing I feel like doing is wrapping myself in a warm blanket, sipping on some hot chocolate whilst reading a good book!

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Cognitive Dissonance


Cognitive dissonance is a perceived inconsistency between two cognitions in which the person believes one thing but then acts in a different way from what they believed. For example, people who smoke know smoking is a bad habit, even without the benefit of the clear warnings on the packet that say "SMOKING KILLS". Some rationalize their behaviour by looking on the bright side: They tell themselves that smoking helps keep the weight down and that there is a greater threat to health from being overweight than from smoking.
At Christmas time, most of us exhibit the symptoms of Cognitive Dissonance. We stuff ourselves with mince pies, Christmas pudding, "Celebrations" etc... all guzzled down with copious amounts of alcohol etc,. We push to the back of our minds that "party pooping" thought that screams "You'll get fat! You'll get fat"
Ever wondered why on January 1st, you can't fit into any of your work clothes?... Cognitive Dissonance!
My New Years Resolution is to step up the exercise programme - Salsa classes, Aerobics classes with subtle names like Fat Attack, and swimming at least twice a week. This was after I realised that the only item I can wear from my work wardrobe is a skirt! (It's winter here!)
The first week, I stuck religiously to my new regime, however, the next Monday I woke up feeling like "S*$t! and came down with a cold - the shock of exercise was too much for the body!
There's been this big poster campaign going around that says "New Years Resolution? Change one thing!" That makes sense! So I've picked the Salsa - the male:female ratio 1.5:1 (very favourable) Who knows? This might be my lucky year!