It was based on James 5: 1-6, about RICH people. The preacher spent a lot of time defining what 'rich' meant in today's context, and came to the conclusion that compared to those poor sods in Africa, everyone in St B's that morning was rich.
Did you know that according to the Global rich list, I am the 56,418,582nd richest person in the world.
I'm in the top 1%!
You want to know what your position is on the rich list? Check out, http://www.globalrichlist.com
But I digress, this blog is not about how rich I am.
The point is, I started crying and I just don't know why! Having grown up in a middle class estate, which was bordered by a squalor/slum, I do not doubt just how rich I am. Man, those people were so poor, it makes the homeless in London seem rich by comparison. I guess you'd say I'm pretty numb to poverty, in the way that most of us of these days are numb to violence. When you are exposed to too much of anything, you begin to accept it as normal. Those videos of kids with big eyes, flies buzzing around their snot nosed faces?? Yep, you know what I'm talking about... don't move me at all. So that can't have been the reason for me crying
What makes it so puzzling is that things were going great this morning. A few issues on the sound desk which I sorted out successfully. 'M's dad gave me a big hug when he came in to church first thing this morning. And then his mom came up to me THREE separate times just to say that she loved me! "I just want to tell you that"
They are just great.
Then M ignored me, and that added to the moroseness. Does he know? Does he suspect that I like him? Is he avoiding me?
After service, I ran out of the church and WALKED about 3 miles to Southgate! Crying all the way there - deep wracking sobs which drew strange looks from fellow pedestrians. The devil rode on my shoulder, filling my mind with depressive thoughts. I thought I would never have to deal with these again but they have a funny way of reappearing when I'm feeling vulnerable. Finally, feet aching, I popped into ASDA and bought myself some chocolate and suddenly the world seemed a better place.
See? This is what I DON'T want to happen!
F*ck men!
Time to start rebuilding those walls!! (sigh)
