... I worked out how much I'd have left over after I'd paid the bills.
Not a lot.
As I gnawed my pen anxiously, the words I spoke at last nights' Baptism service returned to mock me,
Do you believe and trust in God the Father, source of all being and life, the one for whom we exist?
I believe and trust in him
I could choose to walk around with a long face, in hopeless despair -a victim - even though I am responsible for this, relying on the false security of credit cards... a foolish thing to do in today's recession.
If only I'd lived within my means...
But what's done is done!
All this pre-occupation with 'M' seems so stupid now.
Need focusses us.
As I always say, it would be nice if the Christian life came with a guarantee that we would not experience pain, hurt, rejection, sickness, need... but I believe God would be an irresponsible parent if he insulated us from these things. Why do we expend so much energy running away from 'bad things'? So much so that we fail to see the other side of the coin. That 'bad things' can also act as a catalyst for change, an opportunity for growth... Isn't 'necessity the mother of all invention'??
My need is forcing me to confront the deep questions I've been avoiding like,
"Is my Christian walk merely lip service? Do I really believe and trust God to look after my best interests?"
So I choose to embrace this opportunity. In a weird way, I am looking forward to this coming year with excitement.
Perhaps I will experience my own personal manna, quail and water-from-rock incidents. (I've been listening to Exodus)
Jesus did say,
So don't worry about these things, saying "What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear? These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else and live righteously and he will give you everything you need
So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring it's own worries. Today's trouble is enough for today (Matthew 6: 31 - 34 NLT)
AMEN
