Just as I was feeling a bit smug about mastering this whole ‘singleness’ thing, M has somehow wormed his way into my affections.
He isn’t really my ‘type’. Physically he is tall and skinny; is too quiet, is 7 years younger and at the moment doesn’t even know what he wants to do with his life!
("What? He is still finding himself??? Forget it!” my friend Emily advised)
But there’s something about him.
I remember the first time we talked. I was hovering around after the 11.30 am church service, wanting to talk to anybody, and not knowing where or how to start. There are lots of little cliques at church. My age group (early 30’s) who attend this service usually rush off home with their families for Sunday lunch etc. The cliques are mainly in their early 20’s, have grown up together and really don’t have time or anything in common with an old foggy like me. To my surprise he came up to me and instead of engaging in a discussion about tech or worship team we actually had a normal conversation. This made an impression. I’ve seen him doing this with other people at parties, church, so no – it was nothing special.
Our friendship has grown over the course of the year. As I said, he is pretty quiet and does not volunteer much info, which is quite frustrating because I prefer to be the quiet one. I love the sound of his voice. He’s beginning to relax around me; the range of conversation topics has expanded. He’s telling jokes, even teases me a bit. I’m also finding out fun things that he does in his non- church time. You know what they say about the ‘quiet ones?’
I must admit that part of my attraction to M, stems from the profound respect I have for his parents. They often give me lifts home and invite me over to their home for meals. His father in particular is such a positive, role model as a Christian father and husband. I’ve always assumed that children learn character and relational values from their parents. And so the logical conclusion is that M would somehow be similar to his dad?
He is also from dwindling pool of ‘available’ guys at church
M is quite secure in the knowledge that he rates higher than the average guy in my affections. Despite my efforts not to come across that way, he probably views me as an older sister. I’m deliberately not reading anything into his behaviour, although there is a strong temptation to do so. Having been around men, I know how irritating and bewildering it can be for them when a woman reads more into their actions than they intended! We women just have this tendency to do so. In fact, Solomon warns in chapter 2:7 and again in chapter 8:4 of his famous book, Song of Songs,
Do not stir up nor awaken love until it pleases
It’s so easy to feed the crushes, build up little fantasies in our mind, falling in love with the idea of love itself.
I will shush my heart and put to death the awakening desires of this deceitful heart!
