Me and my "Camp" friends!

The term "Camp" is UK slang for anyone who is overly dramatic and displays exaggerated speech and mannerisms! One of my closest friends goes out with a 'camp' guy. Most times it's really funny, but when we are in other people's company can be quite embarrassing!
Last Sunday we went for the Bank Holiday Latin all nighter fest at the Scala in Kings Cross. The Scala is a huge club with a capacity of 1500 punters and had 4 rooms featuring both LA and Cuban Salsa, Lambada and Hip Hop. I've recently 'discovered' Salsa so was quite keen to put my new moves into practice!
The blind date my friend set me up with was, on first impression, cute. But his story about his big d**k, within five minutes of meeting me kind of ruined it! It became painfully clear to me during the initial free salsa class, that my date was no good at dancing - no natural affinity whatsoever! I assured him it wasn't about learning all the correct moves - the important thing was that he has fun (Kim you liar...of course it's important to learn the basics!)
His idea of dance was get into an embrace of sorts and grind up against me! As you can imagine after a while this gets quite boring, so I snatched every opportunity to wander off in search of proper dance partners! It was fun dancing with them but realise I still have a long way to go in my Salsa journey!
Meanwhile, my friends and date, were busy screaming at the top of their voices. Her boyfriend decided to do a pole dance for our benefit, and then he took out an Afro comb, and insisted on combing through my Afro locks for about 10 minutes! I mean I can have fun with the best of them , but do they have to be so LOUD! Everything they do is designed to draw attention to themselves which I'm not comfortable with!
I also discovered that my date was 21 years old which explains the 'd**k" story! I have this thing about age! 25 is fine, but 21 is just too young (10 years younger to be exact). I want to be with a real man not a child who boasts at the first opportunity about his so called sexual exploits. Not even sure whether they are genuine.

Lesbian?

Got another lesbian crack the other day! Zac, ‘God’s gift’ to women, was trying it on with me during a computer workshop.
Two things about Zac
1) He’s a hairy self-obsessed git (not unlike Guy Secretan from Green Wing- see pic)
2) Definitely NOT my type!!!
I was demonstrating something on the computer, with the rest of the class gathered around. Zac was standing behind me. The first time he rubbed up against me, I let it slide because I thought it was accidental. Second time… weird… okay Kim; give him the benefit of the doubt! Third, fourth, FIFTH time… Is this guy for real? So finally I responded, but I suspect, not quite the way he expected (What was he expecting?) A discreet whack in the balls soon sorted out that nonsense. You got to admire the man- not a squeak out of him, but when we resumed seats, he sat opposite glaring. In the break he saunters up to me and begins telling this random story whose point was women and virgins (like me) who are keeping their options open and don’t respond to attractive men (like him) are most ASSUREDLY lesbians!

I’m no stranger to lesbian cracks. I baffle my colleagues and they’ve gone to GREAT lengths to try and ‘out’ me. In one such discussion about ‘types’, I was asked, “Kim, what qualities do you look for in a man… (Pause)… or a woman?”
My response is to smile sweetly and say “Well you’d want to know!”

Let them stew!

But sometimes I wonder… am I a lesbian?

I guess I fit the stereotype… I have a large build with broad shoulders, I believe the correct term is 'butch'. For me there are better things to do in life than obsess over shoes, clothes, facials, manicures, latest hairstyles, make-up… you know… girly stuff. The proverbial tomboy
I mean I’ve tried to be girly. Really tried!!! A couple of years ago I bought a load of make-up worth over £100 (gasp); suffered through an hour long makeover session where my eyes got poked and ended up looking like a surprised Michael Jackson. I have never felt so uncomfortable in my life! The moment I got home, I WASHED it all off, and as far as I know the make-up is somewhere in the deepest recesses of my storeroom. What a waste? And who ever invented thongs? I mean is it sexy to walk around trying to work a piece of string out of one’s ass?

Plus there’s also the little fact that I’ve never had a boyfriend…

So what makes one a lesbian? I carried out a little research on the Internet, scouring through numerous lesbian sites. Interesting! Here were women actually physically attracted to other women. Right now, I am reading “Calling the Rainbow Nation Home” by E.T Sundby - a personal story on how a lesbian finally reconciled her homosexuality to her faith. I could relate to her spiritual journey, but not her sexual orientation. In Chapter 2, The Way Back, she says “…my sexual fantasies had always been about women, never men. No matter how hard I tried to think about guys, my thoughts always turned back towards women… Just when my friends were going boy-crazy, I was heading the other direction. I found that, instead of going away, my attraction for other women was getting stronger with each passing year. More unnerving was that my fantasies about women were far more satisfying than any experience I ever had with a guy.”

I don’t agree with everything E.T. Sundby writes and have difficulty accepting her interpretation of certain Bible verses, but I've learnt a couple of things: -
First... I’m not a lesbian! I feel no physical attraction to women whatsoever, and the thought actually turns my stomach! I do have loads of sexual fantasies about men though, like my neighbour Dean, who is HOT (and suspect is about to take out a restraining order for me!). Some lust issues there…
The second thing I learnt was this: -
Christians need to CHANGE their attitude towards Homosexuals! They are PEOPLE, with feelings and should be treated with respect regardless of whether you agree or disagree with their sexual orientation. They are not exempt from love and those gays who are Christians (yes they are saved) are my brothers and sisters and have equal access to God. I am disgusted with the Anti-Gay movement, backed by many ‘Christian’ churches and organisations whose verbal attacks have fuelled open discrimination, witch-hunts and hate crimes against gay men and women. Is it any wonder, that we have alienated these people from organised religion and the God we claim to represent?
The next time, you judge a gay person remember...
‘For God so loved the world, that He gave His only Son that WHOSOEVER believes in Him will not perish but have everlasting life’ John 3:16 (NIV)

Loneliness

The ‘stigma’ of loneliness!

Last house group meeting, Martin (whom I still dislike) admitted that most of the times he feels alone. It takes a lot of guts to admit this – especially to our House Group. The English are uncomfortable with sharing personal feelings. Many times, I’ve shared about my struggles or illustrated something using a personal example– only to be greeted with awkward silence. I’ve learnt since then to watch what I say, and to use ‘hypothetical’ explanations – they go down better
I found an interesting article on the Internet, Loneliness: Bane of the Christian Single by Dr. Ken Matto. My initial reaction to it was that of indignation! How dare he judge me! However, the more I read it, the more I ‘saw myself’ in it.
Take his ‘Symptoms’ of Loneliness for instance, I am intimidated by quietness – when I come home in the evenings, the first thing I do is turn on the TV to provide some background noise. My life is extremely busy – I try to have something on every evening. I stay late at work (until the cleaners kick me out) because I cannot bear the thought of returning to an empty house. Weekends, especially long Bank Holiday weekends like Easter and Christmas, are torture! I fill my life with endless distraction; by taking courses I don’t really need, losing myself in the world of TV, cinema, and books just to fill the void!
The fact is that I’m not very good at being alone. I come from a large family- immediate and extended – and am accustomed to having loads of people around! In school and church I was always part of the in-crowd or a clique! At church, I was very popular – earning the nickname of “Mayor” because everyone knew me by name and wanted to hang out.
Then I came to London and went from being a ‘Somebody’ to a ‘Nobody’! Friends and family from home still wrote, but as time went by, good intentions and letters dwindled to a mere trickle. I discovered the artificial world of Internet chat rooms-and got involved in this for a while – but this is no substitute for the real thing!
It took a while to build up a new network of friends. I guess I had the advantage of youth – so most of my friends were University students or fresh graduates. We had plenty of time to meet up regularly, and to use a cliché from a famous London church – ‘Do life together!’
It’s all changed now! We got jobs and other commitments that moved us away from church and ultimately each other. Most of the circle have since returned to their home countries, or got married, have children. Contact is few and far between… conversations stilted!
I feel lonely!
To forget, some people turn to alcohol, drugs… I turn to chocolate and nostalgia! Looking through my music collection, you'll find loads of ‘Eighties’ music, Michael Jackson, Lionel Richie, Queen Latifah – a throwback to the times when I was happy! I’ve volunteered to work in the youth ministry at church, not because I have a heart for “Yuff”. Perhaps I am under the illusion that I will recapture the friendships I once had at that age. Of course it doesn’t work – they’ve got their own lives, interests and music. Why would they want to hang out with a 30-year-old woman?

At this point, I know some well-meaning friends and family (yes you Kemi) are itching to come out with the usual clichés like God will never leave me nor forsake me!
I know all that! Emotions are funny things! They cloud our judgement and prevent us from seeing the facts! I’m not really looking for a response or seeking advice. I guess I just want your sympathy, a listening ear! Perhaps there are some reading this article who can identify with me – I’d love to hear how you dealt with this area in your own life. There just might be a few lessons there.
We soldier on!

The Princes Trust kids and me!

Death By Chocolate - The Murder Mystery!

Okay there were a few late comers (the South Africans!!!) but apart from that it went really well!

Those of you who know me, know how I work myself into a state before my "dinner parties". The whole day is spent in a frenzy of cleaning, food shopping... cleaning..., cooking.... more cleaning! Fortunately, I had the privilege of having not one, but TWO, talentated Jamaican ladies, with a passion for food, to help me out on the food side of things. Not to mention, my wonderful flatmate - who is just that...Wonderful!

The previous week, I'd mailed invites with attached character background information sheets to the guests. One of the South Africans (again) misplaced his copy and only told me on the day of the dinner. So had to print out a new character sheet for him to quickly memorise when he "finally" arrived!

While we were waiting ( for the South Africans), the other guests sat around nervously barely touching the food that was rapidly going cold.

Ahh! Finally they arrive and we can start!

I welcomed everyone and explained the rules. A few minutes later, we were given an Oscar winning performance by the poisoned murder "victim" dying in most spectacular manner. While everyone (ok the girls) was gasping in "shock" at such a "terrible" thing, the guys were just standing by dispassionately reading through their character background sheets. Honestly!!!

In case you don't know how a murder mystery works, it simply this...

Someone is murdered. All the guests have a motive for murder which makes them all suspects. The whole evening is spent solving the mystery of "Whodunnit?". Each guest has secrets about themselves and about others, which they must not divulge unless confronted directly. For my murder mystery dinner party, I'd hidden some murder weapon cards around the house and given the guests a set of clues to find them. These murder weapons could be used to "kill" anyone who was trying to blackmail you with information. They also had some game money to bribe their way out of embarrasing situations, or in my case, to hire a hitman to take out someone who was irritating me!

After the "murder" everyone really got into it! A couple more 'murders' happened- including the unfortunate demise of the original "murderer". I also discovered that our appointed "detective" was going around extorting money out of most of the guests (including me) in exchange for her silence! Cheeky! Did I mention that it was one of the Jamaicans?

All in all the dinner party was hilarious and a great way to spend an evening! Can't wait until the next one!

A thought for Easter - Eddie's sequel!!!

He was wounded and crushed because of our sins; by taking our punishment, he made us completely well... All of us were like sheep that had wandered off. We had each gone our own way, but the LORD gave him the punishment we deserved... His life was taken away because of the sinful things my people had done. The LORD decided his servant would suffer as a sacrifice to take away the sin and guilt of others. (Isaiah 53: 4, 8b & 10 Contemporary English Version)

Easter and NOT Christmas is the most significant festival in the Christian Calendar - in fact our whole faith is based upon these events that took place over 2000 years ago.

We Christians believe that Jesus death on the Cross fulfilled the above prophecy.

My Jewish friends are celebrating Passover - an 8 day observance commemorating the freedom and exodus of the Israelites (Jewish slaves) from Egypt during the reign of the Pharaoh Ramses II. About 3000 years ago, according to the Book of Exodus - Moses, a simple Jewish shepherd, was instructed by God to go to the Pharaoh and demand the freedom of his people. Moses' plea of 'let my people go' was ignored. He warned the Pharaoh that God would send severe punishments to the people of Egypt if the Israelites were not freed. Again the Pharaoh ignored Moses' request of freedom. In response God unleashed a series of 10 terrible plagues on the people of Egypt. In the last plague, God instructed the Israelites to slaughter an unblemished lamb, take some of it's blood and put it on the sides and tops of the doorframes of their houses and stay indoors. That night, the angel of the LORD went through the land and struck down the first born of all Egyptians. However, the houses of the Israelites that had blood sprinkled on them were saved!

Christians believe that Jesus was the sacrifcial Lamb whose blood was spilt to save us from the Judgement of God. This Salvation is available to all those who believe this. You don't have to be a good person to be saved - just someone who admits that they need help. It's that simple!

In my last blog, I mentioned that I was worried about my late friend, Eddie because I did not know whether he had accepted Christ. Yesterday I received an email from my sister-in-law, which I'm sure she won't mind me sharing here

'Last week on Monday Kags (my brother) called me and told me that Eddy was seriously sick. In fact he spent the whole day in hospital and when he came back in the evening he was so worried that Eddy wouldnt make it... So the following morning we went together and when we reached he (Eddie) was a bit delusional but recognised us, so there and then I made him accept Christ and I told him to repeat some words after me and he repeated them willingly. He died the next day in the morning....'

I believe that Eddie accepted Christ, made his peace with God and is in heaven right now. I grieve that he is gone, but I am comforted in the hope that I will see him again! God is merciful!

Dear Reader, the fact that you are reading this suggests that God is interested in You, and wants to bring you into relationship with Him. Don't wait until your deathbed to accept Christ. Accept Him Today! Sprinkle the Blood of Jesus on the doorframe of your heart and be saved!

Edwin Bakuta 1975 - 2006

Yesterday, I received the kind of text message dreaded by all Ugandans living away from home.

“Kim there is no way of telling you this well but Ed B just passed on…”

Rock Steady Eddie, Bakumurphs, and Mr SMACK, childhood best friend...Dead!!!

The Bakuta’s were the only household with a video player, which made it a focal point for all teens in the Estate where we grew up. We spent many days watching and memorising videos. When we weren’t doing this, we just chilled out, regaling each other with tales. Eddie had a ‘way’ with words and could really work an audience. His razor sharp memory meant that he could repeat word for word just about anything he had seen and heard and we were often mesmerised with his brilliant stories, putting his own spin on events, little embellishments here and there- as we say in Uganda “adding soup!” Sometimes, even I wouldn’t recognise experiences we’d been through together!!!
I guess this was our way of escaping from our dysfunctional families and strict fathers; a fact that we constantly had to hide from a society that assumed that just because we were “rich kids”, we had everything and couldn’t possibly have any issues. Behind the laughter and stories, the truth was Eddie was deeply troubled, living in the constant shadow of his father’s disapproval; who often insulted and compared him unfavourably in front of us. Eddie just shrugged it off and pretended indifference. But we all knew how it hurt!
He was extremely loyal and constantly raved about his friends. Sometimes, when he introduced me to new people, I found myself under pressure to live up to the ‘persona’ he’d portrayed to them. As far as he was concerned, I was a brilliant, top person and anyone else who thought different was an asshole. My one-man fan club! Even his girlfriends envied me. Ever since I heard the news, I’ve been flooded with memories – stealing his dad’s car and going for wild rides, attempting to pass us off as part of the family at his parents exclusive’club’, sneaking away to youth parties in the middle of the night, practicing dance moves from music videos, looking at our first porn magazines, practicing our first snogs on each other, drinking illegally brewed alcohol in the slums of Kabalagala, sharing heartaches!
Then we grow up. We drift away and childhood memories fade away, until something like death brings them back into focus. I became a Christian, and couldn’t reconcile my new lifestyle to the old wild one I'd shared with Eddie, and so I gradually withdrew and broke all ties with him. The last time I was in Uganda, in 2005, we met up for a drink. We almost missed didn’t but God in His great mercy enabled it! Eddie was still the same with his stories! Even though he was working a shit job, and was obviously broke, he insisted on paying for the drinks! Life was looking up with his new girlfriend. We parted with a warm hug. Now I wish I’d said more- let him know that I loved him, shared with him what I was really feeling in my heart.
Eddie died in hospital from pneumonia on the morning of 5 April 2006. He was only 30! I feel guilty that I never shared the Gospel with him and I am plagued with the thought “Is he in Heaven or Hell?” I wish I’d never alienated myself from him, I wish I’d been a friend!
I wish… I wish!
My only prayer is that Eddie has finally found what eluded him for most of his life…Peace.
I thank God that he put Eddie in my life for a season, and I pray that I never again take for granted all the other people he has placed in my world. To all my friends reading this, I love you!

The Five Factor Personality Test

Your Five Factor Personality Profile

Extroversion: You have low extroversion. You are quiet and reserved in most social situations.A low key, laid back lifestyle is important to you.You tend to bond slowly, over time, with one or two people. Conscientiousness: You have medium conscientiousness.You're generally good at balancing work and play.When you need to buckle down, you can usually get tasks done.But you've been known to goof off when you know you can get away with it. Agreeableness: You have medium agreeableness.You're generally a friendly and trusting person.But you also have a healthy dose of cynicism.You get along well with others, as long as they play fair. Neuroticism: You have medium neuroticism.You're generally cool and collected, but sometimes you do panic.Little worries or problems can consume you, draining your energy.Your life is pretty smooth, but there's a few emotional bumps you'd like to get rid of. Openness to experience: Your openness to new experiences is medium.You are generally broad minded when it come to new things.But if something crosses a moral line, there's no way you'll approve of it.You are suspicious of anything too wacky, though you do still consider creativity a virtue.

The Five Factor Personality Test

Arghh!!!!!

Our House Group is studying "The Purpose Driven Life" by Rick Warren.

We read a chapter a day and meet up for stimulating weekly discussions. I feel that as we share from our hearts, we are drawing closer to each other. I have developed a special fondness for each and every one of them- except Martin. In last week's discussion he came out with this theory about sin being passed on by the Male sperm because Jesus was conceived of a virgin and had no sin... Therefore sin is passed on through the male sperm! Just how is this a useful contribution to a discussion on infant baptism? Who bloody cares where sin comes from anyway?

Actually he really wound me up at Trevor's party last Saturday! Because I'd invited other House Group members to a "Murder Mystery" dinner that I'm organising over Easter, I felt obliged to ask Martin too. He pulls out his palm pilot, and says "Oh, I'm free that evening but can't confirm anything because Trevor and I might have plans that weekend!" (does Trevor, who is in the other room, have a say in this?) "We are going away on a holiday which we haven't booked yet... don't know what day we'll leave... Haven't planned..." Bla bla bla!

Such 'enthusiasm'!

At this point I am deeply regretting why I asked him in the first place. Why can't he just say he doesn't WANT to come for the dinner instead of stalling with all manner of excuses. I explain that when planning a"Murder Mystery"dinner, I really need confirmations because I have to assign characters, give guests plenty of time to look for the right costumes and also plan the meal. If someone doesn't show up or cancels at the last minute, it spoils everything! And since nothing's been agreed yet with Trevor, they could plan around the dinner! I can't believe it... I'm actually begging this moron to come.

He sighs angrily and announces to the entire party,

"Alright, the only thing I can confirm is that I WON'T be coming then!" Whips out palm pilot... deletes my name and then storms out the room. House Group leader Phil (bless him), breaks up the awkward silence that ensues with

"Oh, is that Martin having a "Martin" moment?

Martin, What a Juvenile idiot - no wonder he's still single! Social skills, tact, sensitivity... ZERO!!

For one moment, I consider invitingTrevor, just out of spite, but I think to myself "No Kim, that is not the Christian attitude. Just drop it!" It would give me profound satisfaction if Trevor and the rest of House Group came, leaving Martin with NOTHING to do but stare at his palm pilot all evening! Oh yeah! The idea appeals to me! I just might phone Trevor.

The funny thing is that, earlier, one of the girl's mentioned that when she first joined House Group, she found Martin really irritating, but apparently he's now growing on her. To which I responded, "Well I've just joined House Group!"

Go figure!

Of Sitcoms and Real Life

I didn’t realise how much I liked "Will & Grace" until I spent the money that I’d set aside for new trainers on Series 2 and 3 DVD'S (Shows how much I rate personal fitness on my list of priorities).
A quick summary for the uninitiated: -
‘Will & Grace’ is a sitcom revolving around the life of 4 people living in New York. Will is a lawyer, uptight, control freak, gay and mostly unlucky in love. Grace, his best friend and roommate is an interior designer, self-obsessed, competitive, with the unfortunate habit of dating gay men. Karen is Grace’s office assistant who comes into work at 10.30, takes 4-hour lunch breaks and spends the time in between catalogue shopping, filing her nails and criticising Grace’s dress sense. Jack is the unemployed, free loading, flamboyantly gay ‘juvenile’ one.

The relationship between the 2 characters Will & Grace echoes my previous relationships with guys. I can relate to that special ‘closeness' that is a touch above sibling relationship and below the boyfriend/girlfriend stuff. This kind of relationship is characterised by fierce competition, inside jokes, shared interests, advice, morale support.. bitter arguments. Most people find it weird for a grown man and woman to be ‘best friends’. Such a concept does not exist in Uganda. If 2 people of the opposite sex are regularly seen together, then clearly “There is ‘Something' between them!”
For me that "Something" was a level of immaturity that existed to meet short term companionship needs without the inconvenience of dealing with real issues of commitment and intimacy. Perhaps this kind of relationship only lasts in the ‘Sitcom world’. My friend Stephen recognised this, decided to grow up and move on, while I desperately clung on to my “security blanket”. Suddenly we were tugging in different directions, and it all ripped painfully apart.
I was reading today in ‘The Purpose Driven Life’ by Rick Warren’s, that God’s ultimate goal for my life on earth is not comfort, but character development. Lately I feel my turn has come and God is suddenly in the habit of tipping me out of my comfort zone. Following the demise of my 7-year friendship, I am now forced to examine the real reason why I am only attracted to ‘unavailable’ men and freak out every time a guy shows interest. Perhaps I am meant to be Single? Sounds reasonable enough. However, I know it just does not wash. If I'm ever to grow up emotionally, I should be willing to take a risk and dive head first into this scary world of commitment and sharing

The Ghetto!

For the last few weeks I’ve been volunteering with the Princes Trust as a Development Coach to a bunch of kids aged 16 – 20. They come from a variety of backgrounds- ex offenders, school dropouts, single parent or foster homes; but all lack self confidence and share a pessimistic view on life characteristic of the rough neighbourhoods they come from, “Da Hoods!” or “Da Ghettos!” The Princes Trust Team programme is designed to help young people like these, from marginalized backgrounds, who are ‘unemployed, unexcited and unsure’ of their future 'get out of the box’ and learn practical skills like team working, tolerance, communication, leadership etc that will help in a job and in life
To communicate, I had to go through a crash course in “street” which is “basikly” speak really fast “yer?” and use words like “uknowamean?” (You know what I mean?); “Koching” (relaxing with friends); “bare” (numerous); “drawing” (smoking weed… don’t ask); “Blood”/“Bruv” (close friend or brother) “Laow it!” (I object strongly) and “innit?” (Isn’t it?)

"You get me?"

I’m not sure what a Development Coach does, so I’m kind of winging it by listening, giving advice, praising, mucking in with team activities and more recently editing CV’s and job application letters (a complete translation and rewrite in some cases)
In weeks 3 and 4, the kids undertook a Community Project where they fundraised for and converted a local primary school’s disused shed into an Art Storage Shed. Despite the rain, snow and subzero conditions, I was impressed to see that most of them showed up everyday and took ownership of the project. As you can see, on the last day I was roped in to artistically paint one of the tables. However, later on it was decided unanimously by the Team to paint over my artwork with unimaginative basic yellow!
That’s ok… I don’t care… even the famous Van Gogh, did not get much recognition during his lifetime!

Random thoughts

Sorry I've been out of touch. Life's going through one of it's boring phases where nothing new happens.
Typical week: - Lazy night on Monday evening, Alpha course on Tuesday, Housegroup Wednesday, again a lazy night on Thursday. By lazy night it means there is nothing of personal interest on the TV. Something always crops up on Fridays even though I'd rather it didn't because my favourite sitcom,Will and Grace, is on at 8.30. My window cleaner has this habit of coming to ask for his money right in the middle of the programme - he's ever so cheerful and likes to linger for a chat- apparently plays guitar- used to be in a band you know- plays all kinds of music like Jazz and (...oh you are Black so you must like...) Soul. YAWN, Just take your money already and let me get back to my programme!!! Considering changing window cleaners!
Oh yes, I DID something interesting. On Saturday, my mate Emily had free tickets for 'King Lear' at the British Film Institute. It's a 197o film, in Russian, subtitles in Shakespeares English...ehem... as you can imagine quite hard to follow. On Sunday, I tried out a new recipe on my "guinea pig", sister Ngonzi - no... she doesn't look or even eat like a pig, but she gets to try out all my food experiments! (also hates to cook and welcomes the free food) The 'Oven Ki Murghi' - chicken breasts roasted with onions and green chillis (courtesy of Madhur Jaffrey on Saturday Kitchen- for recipe click here- Oven Ki Murghi ) met with Ngonzi's full approval so will be one of the dishes I'll do for my house group in a couple of weeks time.
Ok I'll write some more when something interesting happens!
Ciao!

Flamenco!

Last Friday I went to Sadlers Wells Theatre to watch the National Spanish Ballet Company perform the Flamenco.

The first half consisted of agonised wailing from the singers, not unlike a cat in heat, that just set my teeth on edge! During the interval the people I'd gone with gushed about how 'amazing' the music was... and that singing...(pause for effect).. ohh!"

I just thought "I've blown £28 on this crap!"

Fortunately for me, the best was saved for last! In the second half, the caterwauling gave way to the haunting sound of the Spanish guitar beautifully complementing the passionate dance sequences and absolutely stunning costumes!
What an experience!

Afterwards, I reflected on the various dances from my country Uganda. We are made up of over 30 different tribes each with a unique dance and drum signature. If you played a drum sequence for me, I'd be able to tell you exactly where that came from- there's the sensual "Runyege, Entogoro" dance from my tribe Bunyoro; the powerful "Ekitaguriro" from the nearby Ankole tribe; the graceful "Baakisiimba", "Nankasa", "Muwogola" and energetic "Amaggunju" dances from the Buganda tribe, the rhythmic "Bwola", "Larakaraka" and "Ding Ding" dances from the northern Acholi tribe whose names are derived from the sound made by accompanying instruments. I could go on- but there are too many tribes to list. When my people dance, we put our whole minds, bodies and souls in to it. We don't have to screw up our faces into pained expressions to communicate Passion! You can just tell! There are no spectators here, everybody exuberantly claps and joins in with the singing, naturally breaking into untaught three part harmonies!
It's in moments like these that I realise that I do appreciate my roots. If I ever have children, my own, adopted or fostered, I'll make sure that that part of their heritage is not lost to them.

Addiction!

Tonight I'm going to my new Vicar's home for a Welcome Supper. Ordinarily, I'd jump at the chance of free food - but I'm in a dilemma because it conflicts with the new diet/fitness regime that I started on Monday. It is called the Gi Jeans diet where you eat 1200 calories per day while exercising for at least 30 minutes each day for 5 days. Apparently when you eat foods with high Gi's they release energy slowly and help you feel full for longer. Or is it foods with low Gi's? I've forgotten - it's something with Gi's...

In the little booklet provided, there are suggested recipes-

A typical breakfast -ONE slice of multigrain bread, spread with some cottage cheese and a piece of fruit... (That's supposed to keep me full until lunchtime?)

Lunch - a sandwich - that's not more than 250 calories

Supper- 170g of white fish, 170 g of new potatoes (i.e. 3 small potatoes) with vegetables

2 snacks - mid morning,and mid afternoon and it's got to be fruit. A banana counts as 2 fruits!

So far, my willpower has been good till about 4.00 pm. By this time I have eaten ALL the alloted snacks for the day and still feeling hungry. This is by no means satisfied with the meagre supper and by 10pm... anything edible looks good. I could swear I've eaten more food since I started this 'diet'! It is quite disheartening really!
I NEED TO FIND A LASTING SOLUTION TO THIS WEIGHT PROBLEM!
My family has a history of high blood pressure and since I'm the only overweight descendant with a food addiction, I'm the most likely candidate to inherit it! That should be sufficient incentive to lose weight, but I just can't seem to stick with anything

A couple of years ago I went through a phase where I cycled to work, went to the gym 4 times a week, joined a regular dance class etc. The weight dropped off and I looked great - but the intense exercise completely buggered up my knees- to the point where it was painful to walk and I had to give up the regime. It all piled on again- and then some!
Since willpower and exercise have been ruled out, surgery seems like the only available solution. Liposuction and stomach stapling are some of the procedures that immediately spring to mind. However, the former is a temporary fix and doesn't really deal with the overeating problem and the latter is only performed in extreme cases of obesity.

Hypnosis? Paul Mc Kenna's "I Can Make You Thin?" As a Christian - hypnosis is frowned upon as it is a form of manipulation and I wouldn't be comfortable with it

I don't know what to do! I need prayer!

A new chapter...

Just as I was beginning to feel particularly useless at church – and on the verge of leaving… the theme for this evening was ‘involvement in ministry’, an open invitation for members to become part of various ministry teams.
I’ve had my eye on the Worship team for a while, and it’s got nothing to do with the particularly dishy lead guitarist…who up close looks very... urm... dishy!
Unfortunately, they weren’t looking for an acoustic/rhythm guitarist, especially not a self-taught one who can’t read music and doesn’t know what grade she’s at. I toyed briefly with the idea of lying about my proficiency with the electric lead guitar, but then thought better of it. Musicians are an unforgiving lot, and it wouldn’t go down well with “dishy” if I were exposed at the auditions. Do I want to get into the team anyway? They didn’t strike me as particularly friendly. Kind of left me standing on my own unlike the Youth team that was excited to see me at their stand. So I guess its Youth then. I’ve always admired youth workers – they are trendy, up to date “happening” people. Plus,
I always seem to gravitate towards the Youth Ministry. Perhaps it is my Calling? The youth pastor mentioned that there is no one to lead worship for the youth, so my acoustic guitar skills may come in handy after all. I just hope this marks the beginning of a new chapter in my life. In my heart of hearts, I do want to serve God to the best of my ability, because I love Him! I want to get the focus off ME, and place it where it really should be, loving God and my neighbour.
I guess working with youth is kind of like dying to my dreams and aspirations. There’s no way I’ll meet anyone special- single male youth workers are in extremely short supply.
I pray that I’ll make Jesus known and help to make a positive influence in their lives.

Salsa - Update

You may recall from my last blog but one, that I promised to stay to the Open Club after the dance lesson and ask at least one guy for a dance!

Fortunately, my last partner from the lesson was a fellow beginner, so it was only natural for me to suggest that we stay on and practice what we'd learned. After that, I asked his friend for a little practice session too. It felt great although after a while proved to be bit boring as we repeated the same sequence (4 steps) over and over again!

Looking across the room, I spotted the guy from my first class 2 weeks ago who'd said he'd look out for me, and made a bee line for him. He's been going for 4 months and taught me some of the new moves! It was such a pleasure to dance with him! His name is Eric! Good dancer! Hope he comes next week so that at least I'm assured of a dance!

It felt good to step out like that and much more fun!

The Verdict on Speed dating!

The thought of voluntarily putting myself under the spot light, with only 3 minutes to make an impression was quite daunting! What the heck do you say?

Before the session we huddled into nervous little hetero groups covertly checking out the "talent" on the other side! One guy in particular caught my eye- tall, well dressed, good looking black man! Not bad at all! He was receiving lots of appreciative glances from the ladies...

Okay, the MC hands out score cards, explains the rules i.e. talk to each other for 3 minutes, when the bell goes, guys move on to the next girl. Write down the persons' name and number, something memorable about them and then score them as a "Yes, No or Friend (in my book that means 'maybe')" Tomorrow when you log on to the website, enter your scores and see if you have any matches.

Bing!

It didn't really work out with the first guy- he was timid, nervous, soft spoken and lost me when he started talking about his interests which included reading non-fiction and other dry topics. What I DO remember is that Joe Legend's "Ordinary People" was playing in the background, and this guys lips were moving in time to the music! It was all I could do to hold back the involuntary sigh of relief when the bell signalled the end of the session!

Thankfully it was not all bad! There were some really interesting guys. The black guy turned out to be a Police Officer from a rough neighbourhood who likes Greek Mythology??!!!

No one really did it for me! My heart didn't skip a beat or anything. There were a lot of "maybes" and I was quite pleased the next day, when I logged on, to see that 3 out of the 5 'maybes' thought the same. I've sent them my email address and I guess I just have to wait? Police man didn't like me - it must have been the funny look I gave him when he said " I just love Greek Mythology"

Final Verdict: Many times I have gone to a party, seen a guy that I liked, but never had the opportunity to say anything beyond "Hi!" Speed dating ensures you get the undivided attention of every man in the room for at least 3 minutes!

Would I do it again? Probably, if I had nothing else to do that evening and it was free! £20 is a bit pricey and was quite disappointed to see that it didn't include free drinks.

The quest for a man!

On Saturday I attended a Singles Seminar. The main theme was "take more risks and get out of the comfort zone" . The reason why most of us 30 somethings are still single is that we are reluctant to stick out our necks when it comes to the area of relationships.

This isn't news to me, I've known it for a long time

Take for example my Salsa class... I normally rush off after the lesson because I'm afraid of looking awkward during the open club. Actually I'm TERRIFIED of standing all alone at the bar for 2 hours, with no one asking me to dance! Well, tomorrow, I going to ASK someone for a dance! Take a risk! If they say yes, then great! If they say no- shrug it off and move on the next person

One thing that came out from my seminar is that guys don't mind women asking them out on dates. The challenge is to make a list of all the single guys you know and ask them out on dates.
The only single guys I know are the 2 in my House Group. Today, under the guise of a general email, I invited them out for a movie in a couple of weeks time. One of them came back to me and said he'd come. So I guess that's progress... I've taken a risk!

To really show that I'm going out on a limb, I'll be Christian Speed Dating tonight! This is when a equal number of men and women, meet up in a group and each get 3 minutes to talk to each other. Afterwards, you note down those who interested you and submit an anonymous list to the organisers. If someone on your list picks you... it's a match! Fingers crossed for tonight! I'll keep you posted!

Not doing so well on those resolutions...

I'm going to buy Size 18 trousers!

The whole exercise programme hasn't gone according to plan, in fact, it hasn't gone... period!

I fell sick in week 2, and couldn't go to the gym or for Salsa!
In week 3, I could have gone, but temperatures have dipped to 5 degrees and the only thing I feel like doing is wrapping myself in a warm blanket, sipping on some hot chocolate whilst reading a good book!

Cognitive Dissonance

Cognitive dissonance is a perceived inconsistency between two cognitions in which the person believes one thing but then acts in a different way from what they believed. For example, people who smoke know smoking is a bad habit, even without the benefit of the clear warnings on the packet that say "SMOKING KILLS". Some rationalize their behaviour by looking on the bright side: They tell themselves that smoking helps keep the weight down and that there is a greater threat to health from being overweight than from smoking.
At Christmas time, most of us exhibit the symptoms of Cognitive Dissonance. We stuff ourselves with mince pies, Christmas pudding, "Celebrations" etc... all guzzled down with copious amounts of alcohol etc,. We push to the back of our minds that "party pooping" thought that screams "You'll get fat! You'll get fat"

Ever wondered why on January 1st, you can't fit into any of your work clothes?... Cognitive Dissonance!

My New Years Resolution is to step up the exercise programme - Salsa classes, Aerobics classes with subtle names like Fat Attack, and swimming at least twice a week. This was after I realised that the only item I can wear from my work wardrobe is a skirt! (It's winter here!)

The first week, I stuck religiously to my new regime, however, the next Monday I woke up feeling like "S*$t! and came down with a cold - the shock of exercise was too much for the body!

There's been this big poster campaign going around that says "New Years Resolution? Change one thing!" That makes sense! So I've picked the Salsa - the male:female ratio 1.5:1 (very favourable) Who knows? This might be my lucky year!