Yesterday, I received the kind of text message dreaded by all Ugandans living away from home.
“Kim there is no way of telling you this well but Ed B just passed on…”
Rock Steady Eddie, Bakumurphs, and Mr SMACK, childhood best friend...Dead!!!
The Bakuta’s were the only household with a video player, which made it a focal point for all teens in the Estate where we grew up. We spent many days watching and memorising videos. When we weren’t doing this, we just chilled out, regaling each other with tales. Eddie had a ‘way’ with words and could really work an audience. His razor sharp memory meant that he could repeat word for word just about anything he had seen and heard and we were often mesmerised with his brilliant stories, putting his own spin on events, little embellishments here and there- as we say in Uganda “adding soup!” Sometimes, even I wouldn’t recognise experiences we’d been through together!!!
I guess this was our way of escaping from our dysfunctional families and strict fathers; a fact that we constantly had to hide from a society that assumed that just because we were “rich kids”, we had everything and couldn’t possibly have any issues. Behind the laughter and stories, the truth was Eddie was deeply troubled, living in the constant shadow of his father’s disapproval; who often insulted and compared him unfavourably in front of us. Eddie just shrugged it off and pretended indifference. But we all knew how it hurt!
He was extremely loyal and constantly raved about his friends. Sometimes, when he introduced me to new people, I found myself under pressure to live up to the ‘persona’ he’d portrayed to them. As far as he was concerned, I was a brilliant, top person and anyone else who thought different was an asshole. My one-man fan club! Even his girlfriends envied me. Ever since I heard the news, I’ve been flooded with memories – stealing his dad’s car and going for wild rides, attempting to pass us off as part of the family at his parents exclusive’club’, sneaking away to youth parties in the middle of the night, practicing dance moves from music videos, looking at our first porn magazines, practicing our first snogs on each other, drinking illegally brewed alcohol in the slums of Kabalagala, sharing heartaches!
Then we grow up. We drift away and childhood memories fade away, until something like death brings them back into focus. I became a Christian, and couldn’t reconcile my new lifestyle to the old wild one I'd shared with Eddie, and so I gradually withdrew and broke all ties with him. The last time I was in Uganda, in 2005, we met up for a drink. We almost missed didn’t but God in His great mercy enabled it! Eddie was still the same with his stories! Even though he was working a shit job, and was obviously broke, he insisted on paying for the drinks! Life was looking up with his new girlfriend. We parted with a warm hug. Now I wish I’d said more- let him know that I loved him, shared with him what I was really feeling in my heart.
Eddie died in hospital from pneumonia on the morning of 5 April 2006. He was only 30! I feel guilty that I never shared the Gospel with him and I am plagued with the thought “Is he in Heaven or Hell?” I wish I’d never alienated myself from him, I wish I’d been a friend!
I wish… I wish!
My only prayer is that Eddie has finally found what eluded him for most of his life…Peace.
I thank God that he put Eddie in my life for a season, and I pray that I never again take for granted all the other people he has placed in my world. To all my friends reading this, I love you!
