I've been quite proactive in my search for a mate.
To recap...
Last year I realised that Christian guys were either married, engaged or in relationships, and the single ones just not interested in me. It became obvious that to improve my chances of ever meeting anyone I had to expand my circles beyond the church. So I went speed dating, started Salsa classes to keep fit in a fun way... (well at least that was my cover story); signed up to Internet dating websites - had a few dates until I ...
met a guy I really liked but he didn't like me 'that way'
Was crushed!
Removed my profile from dating websites. Subsequently read "The Rules" and realised all the mistakes I had been making with guys - making myself too available (and cheap) and not giving them the opportunity to pursue me
This year I joined Meetup.com and started socialising with people who had similar interests. I put my profile back onto a few dating websites... even a Christian one!!! Received some male interest but mainly from drunk guys in night clubs - not really flattering... not my thing really. I corresponded briefly with some guys from websites, had a couple of dates - didn't feel any connection
Wished I was a lesbian!
Read 'The Thrill of the Chaste' by Dawn Eden and repented before God for unchaste thoughts and behaviour. I then made a decision to stop feeding this desire for a mate - cut out all romantic movies and books, dealt ruthlessly with crushes etc. I then threw myself into church activities to 'take my mind off things'
I've kept socialising but it's more relaxed now because my focus has now shifted to enjoying myself, making friends rather than check out the guys
Sometimes I slide back into old habits...
At the beginning of last week, this guy from Loveandfriends.com sent me an email saying that he'd found my profile charming and was tripping the hands of fate. He hoped that I would find his profile incredibly interesting. Good looking. Despite the fact that he'd filled in 'Spiritual' under Religion, I thought it wouldn't hurt to email him back. I mentioned that I am involved in my church,
He wanted to know whether I was relgious?
Me: Depends on your definition of religion
Him: Is it important to you that your potential partner shares your beliefs?
Me: Yes, it is important to me that my potential partner shares or is at least open minded about my core beliefs
Okay so I was compromising a little. The last date I went on was with this 40+ year old Atheist, who had no depth to him and we just did not have much in common. He was such an empty shell!
On the other hand, this guy seemed keen, was black, and apart from 'Religion', seemed to tick all the other boxes. Moreover I'd been encouraged by the story of my friend who has just got together with a guy I introduced her to. He was not a Christian when they first met, but converted within 2 months of meeting her. He now goes to church and in fact tomorrow he is attending the Alpha course at my church! Yippee
Since 'Loveandfriends guy' also belonged to the London Black Professionals group, we agreed that we would meet at the monthly event held last Friday. When you arrive at these events, you hover on the fringes until someone gives you a friendly smile which is your cue to join in on their conversation. The new Kim (Rules girl) at parties expects guys who are interested to initiate conversation with her.
The only guys I spoke with were not him so I assumed that he was a 'no show' (which I found a bit strange)
Next day, he called to ask whether I had been at the meetup.
Me: "Yes, I got there at about 10"
Him: Oh I left a quarter past 10"
and started describing what he'd been wearing and people he talked to.
Me: I didn't recognise you.
He then asked whether I was the one who came in later with another girl,
Me: "Yes I did",
(and then the bloody cheek)
Him: Oh I saw you, have you lost weight since you took the picture on the website?" (So you saw me then?) Me: "No I haven't, I've been pretty much the same size since I took the photo" (that's a lie...I HAVE gone down a dress size)
I thought to myself, if this guy was really serious, he would have at least come over to say hello. And to think I was nervous about actually meeting him??!!
And with such lame ass brothers like that... no wonder I am still single
