Mark from St Barnabas is always organising activities, films, dinners, pub quiz, hanging out at his place etc. In theory, it is a good way to get to know other people. I've always wanted to go, but couldn't because of work committments. So I was happy to go along to the cinema with them to watch Ratatouille - Pixar's latest animation about a rat who pursues his dream to be a great chef. It is funny - not hilarious - but worth watching.Afterwards I reflected on my relationship with the good people of St B's.
Every church has it's "in" crowd. Usually the guys in the Worship Team - the musicians - people whose visible talents propel them into almost celebrity-like status - within the church! Today's movie goers were mainly 'in' crowd. Conversations with them kind of go like this:
Kim: Hi! What's your name?
St B's guy: "I'm Paul"
(pause while I wait for him to ask for my name)
Paul: Uhh , Do I know you?
Kim: yes you do, we go to the same church (yeah dude, the other Sunday when I was talking to your friend Rene, you cut in on our conversation, said hello to him and totally blanked me)
Paul: ohhh, so that's where I've seen you. What service do you go to?
Kim: Mornings mainly (same as you dude)
(Blank look)
Kim: I help out with the tech team sometimes (the only black person who does, you'd be blind to miss me)
Paul: (something like 'recognition' dawning) Oh yes, so that's where I've seen you
And he still has not asked for my name!!!
Earlier, I'd had another conversation with a Catherine from Nottingham. Same thing. Not interested in anything except herself.
I am a shy person - uncomfortable with new people and situations. It takes a lot out of me to initiate conversations, and it would really help if once I got the ball rolling, the other person could help me along.
I cannot really point to a good conversation I have had with anyone new in a long time. Not just the 'in' crowd at St B's, but everyone else. I've thrown myself into new social situations but conversations are always one-sided- with me asking all the questions, being interested, and the other person just... not!!
Since I am the common denominator there must be something wrong with my technique? Something that puts people off? Or maybe I am just in the wrong social circles? And if I am, then what are they RIGHT circles? Or perhaps people just don't want to be my friend?
