I went down to the library and the (probably new) librarian mentioned as I was checking out my books that they were due back in 3 weeks time. I bit back the sarcastic remark that sprung up “You mean it’s changed from what it was in the last 10 years?” How was the man to know that this was only half of what I usually borrow, and that I was on leave, so was going to use the time to read! Wise-acre!!
By Thursday my mood had somewhat improved as I discovered that if I played karaoke instrumental videos on Youtube, I could make a video of myself singing using the 'I-Movie' application on my MacBook AT THE SAME TIME!!!
This was AMAZING! 1 hour, 2 hours before I knew it, it was midnight. Ballads suit me best (sadly songs by Pussy cat dolls don’t... although I made a video of me lip-syncing and dancing to 'Sway' ;-P)
On Friday, my fabulous neighbours, gave me a lift to St B's for the Good Friday Service. It was such a beautiful service – I blubbed most of the time. In my opinion this is the best service we have at St B’s because it gives room to express the artistic creativity within the Church. The seats were arranged in a circle. We started the service with 30-minute time of reflection watching a themed photographic slideshow put together by one of the Church members- classical music playing in the background. Someone had also written a poem that was handed out. The choir then sung a few songs beautifully in 4 part harmonies. This was followed by readings and actors doing dramatic monologues, Peter first, and then Pontius Pilate. Solos were sung! M sung a Gregorian chant in his lovely bass!!! The drummers did a presentation using tom tom drums placed all over the church. And while we were receiving communion, the tech team played this video!
SOOO beautiful.
During the service, as I reflected on the true nature of love – Jesus example of self sacrifice -laying down one’s life for the sake of others, the nature of my desire for M was laid bare. I realised that I had been motivated by selfishness. Focusing on myself and what I wanted, and how he would fill my needs and being frustrated because I was not getting my way. I made the decision to LET GO. Yes, I am occasionally dogged by thoughts of him, but not with the same intensity as before.
This put me in the right frame of mind for the rest of the weekend.....
