Yesterday I broke down at my fortnightly Oasis prayer meeting. The whole evening, tears had been welling up in my eyes, and I’d been chiding myself with a phrase my mother uses often
“Everyone has problems. No one wants to hear about your problems. So brace yourself and just get on with your life”
When it came to my turn to share my prayer requests, I couldn’t speak, and sat there sobbing.
I just feel overwhelmed with life. I am the author of my own misery because I keep putting off doing things that I need to do and now life feels like a huge tray marked “Urgent, pending”. The pile keeps growing and growing!
There are all these things that need doing around the house. My car has started making this strange sound in the engine whenever I turn the wheel. My friend has assured me that a vital element in the engine has worn away, and replacing it will cost more than the value of the car. I need to get some spare parts from scrap yard, but too scared to go there on my own. My flat needs a lot of essential repair work – replacing extractor fans, cooker and storage heaters. I don’t feel confident enough to deal with tradesmen, especially after I was ripped off by the guy who tiled my bathroom floor last year (he was recommended by a friend!!!) There are some accessories that need putting up in the bathroom, and I don’t have a drill that can do the work. Even if I did, I wouldn’t know how to do it because it involves drilling through the tiled wall.
In Uganda, there were always the guys from church or my mom would find and deal with the tradesmen for me. In England, it isn’t as easy to ask for help. I’m not comfortable asking the guys in my home group- we jsut don't have that kind of relationship. My brother isn’t particularly helpful and has a busy life. I’d have to nag him to do anything, and don’t really feel comfortable nagging, especially as beggars can’t be choosers.
So I feel overwhelmed, frustrated, and alone!
