I'm doing so well... until a week later, I receive a text from him asking whether I would like meet up?!
All resolve drains away... I'm such a weakling!
Of course I want to meet up? We agree on a date - Theatre, next Friday. Feelings that I thought were suppressed come flooding back and I 'see' myself slipping into old behaviour patterns. Like sending him a text a couple of days later to say 'Hi!' He's more receptive this time, and we have a bit of 'text flirting' session - all the innuendo from my side because my mind is wired like that. Do I hear a collective gasp of horror from all you Christians - yes... I had sex on my mind!
In the evening I get a phone call from him that starts off... "Kim you know I'm very direct?"
Uh oh... here we go...
I don't remember his exact words but it was a version of the "I-just-want-to-be-friends" speech.
I recognise it. I've heard it several times before!
I tell him point blank that actually I was hoping for a bit more because I really like him. In my mind's eye I can just picture, my mom, sisters, Michelle McKinney Hammond wringing their hands and shouting "NOOOOOO! You NEVER tell a guy that you like him first!"
Oh SH*T! I just did! Cat's out of the bag now! I can't take the words back!
Somehow we get through the awkward conversation. He wonders whether I still want to meet up for theatre. I think, 'There's no point wasting good theatre tickets (yeah right... you liar Kim you. Secretly hoping that he may have changed his mind about you by then). Perhaps he's hoping I'd say no so that he can take someone else?
It really is the END then isn't it?
I go to my room, CRY and then pray! I am reminded of a verse
1 Timothy 5:1b 'Treat younger men as brothers... with absolute purity'
C'mon God! I can't do that - this man is seriously hot... plus he did admit to finding me quite sexy. Hmm... perhaps I can exploit that. I haven't had a good snog in 5 years
2 Corinthians 10 - '...we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.'
That's impossible God! I don't have the strength nor desire to capture any thoughts!
Matt 19:26 "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."
IT CAN'T GET MORE OBVIOUS THAN THAT, CAN IT?! Even God has spoken! (at least I believe He has)
Argghhh! Why can't things go my way for a change?
And why is Mr A, still sending me emails and text and acting like we never had the "TALK"?? And why does he want to meet up a whole hour and a half before the show? To recap on 'TALK'- just in case I missed the salient points?
OK! OK ! I GET IT! YOU ARE NOT INTERESTED! I GET IT!
