You probably think that I’ve been too busy to update the blog, spending loads of time with Mr A, on numerous dates, getting to know each other? You know? The kind of things that people do when they are excited about each other?
Far from it! This whole business with Mr A has been an emotional ride!
So much energy has been expended, worrying, fantasizing, planning, worrying, talking about him and receiving advice from friends…
And such conflicting advice!
After date with Mr A, he sent me a message to say he had lots of fun... "Let's do it again."
Very open ended, vague – polite
Advice from friend was, “Kim he likes you, set up a definite second date”
So I did. I sent him an email suggesting that we watch a film on 7 July
Silence for 3 days
Email from him saying, “Work's been hectic. Good idea, but 7th is not convenient, how about the 11th or 23rd?”
11th it is then!
Silence…
I meet up with friend over the weekend who says, “Kim, you should be a bit more open to him about your feelings.”
On Monday, I send him a text saying ‘hello’.
Silence…
In the evening, a text from him saying hello back!
A late night chat with another friend! “Kim you got it all wrong! You should NEVER chase a guy. HE should have been the one who suggested the date. Never send him emails or text messages, except in response to the ones HE sends you. My advice to you is to cancel 11 July date, tell him something came up, and then WAIT for him to contact you and arrange something”
Another friend, “Okay it’s obvious he is not interested (Doesn’t take a genius to figure that one out) But don’t cancel the date. Keep him as a friend – he may have other friends”
I’ve thought it through, with the help of my old friend, Michelle McKinney Hammond. She is an African American woman who specialises in Single Christian matters, and has written a variety of books on the subject like ‘If Singleness is a Gift, What's The Return Policy', ‘What to Do Until Love Finds You’ and of course, the MANUAL, ‘Secrets of an Irresistible Woman ’
In the ‘Mind Your Own Business’ chapter of this book, Michelle says,
‘Notice I said that he finds you. Yes indeed! My Bible tells me, “When a man finds a wife, he finds a good thing” (see Proverbs 18:22). This always was, and always will be, the perfect order of a relationship because it is a spiritual law….
Let’s face it – men never appreciate anything they didn’t have to work for to get. The spirit of conquest is in the heart of every man…Men reverence that which is hard earned. God wanted women to be appreciated in the same way. This would ensure that we receive the special treatment He knew we deserved. The only way to make certain this happened was to establish specific rules in the game of love. So relax – take a seat behind the end zone and let him come and get you.’
It’s obvious really! I’ve blown it with Mr A, (like I ever had a chance in the first place)
He HAS been rather passive.
The problem now is this…
Will I cope being ‘just friends’ with this guy?
Should I protect my heart and sever all ties with him having crossed an emotional line?
Should I cancel the date, knowing that I’ll never see him again socially?
