I don't know whether I have mentioned before that I have pretty amazing neighbours - Ros and Jon. I learnt that they moved onto my road in February this year when a mutual friend sent an email to introduce us to each other.Ros and Jon are really quite brilliant. They blow every misconception that some of us Blacks have of ‘White People.’ Where do we get this idea that all ‘White People’ are cold with ‘Etiima’ (in my language this loosely translates to ‘heartless’); sticklers for rules at the cost of relationshi- selfish ‘…putting their elderly parents in Retirement homes!’
Perhaps I shouldn’t generalise. Not ALL Blacks feel this way about 'White People' – maybe it’s only the ones I talk to. 'White People' stories (almost always the nasty experiences) end in ‘trademark’ punch line…
“White People! Hah!!” (Note, not the short sharp ‘Hah!’, but the long drawn out ‘Haaaaaaah”)
The listeners (black) usually respond with a chorus of understanding, “Mmhmms!!!” knowing looks and sniggers all around.
The listeners (black) usually respond with a chorus of understanding, “Mmhmms!!!” knowing looks and sniggers all around.
The same people, when I tell them about an act of kindness that a friend has done for me, will ask first,
“What a nice person. White or black?”
“Black” will get little reaction. Say “White” – and it's like they've been stung by a bee, a sharp intake of breath and if they are Nigerian you might even get “Ah Ah!!! – slap the leg – “You’re joking me!!!”
“What a nice person. White or black?”
“Black” will get little reaction. Say “White” – and it's like they've been stung by a bee, a sharp intake of breath and if they are Nigerian you might even get “Ah Ah!!! – slap the leg – “You’re joking me!!!”
When Ros and Jon found out that it takes me about an hour and a half to get to church on Sunday mornings by bus, they offered me the use of their second car for the weekends. They wouldn’t even let me pay for the extra cost of insurance insisting that it was a gift - their way of blessing me. But not wanting to abuse this privilege, every Sunday before I return it, I wash, wax and refuel the car.
When I got home last Friday, I found that they’d dropped the car off as usual and left a message with my sister to tell me that the petrol tank was full and there's no need for me to put in anymore.
This car thing has got me thinking about my relationship with God and my response to grace. Ros and Jon, like God, have given me a free gift, and don’t expect anything in return for it. And yet against their express wishes and assurances I continue trying to earn the privilege - fearing that it might get withdrawn if I don’t show enough appreciation.
This car thing has got me thinking about my relationship with God and my response to grace. Ros and Jon, like God, have given me a free gift, and don’t expect anything in return for it. And yet against their express wishes and assurances I continue trying to earn the privilege - fearing that it might get withdrawn if I don’t show enough appreciation.
Isn’t it frustrating when you give someone a gift, that where a simple 'thank you' would have sufficed, that person overdoes the ‘appreciation thing’! This attitude questions the character of the Giver, of the friendship and just kills the whole pleasure of giving!
But let me remove the plank from my own eye before I start pointing out the splinter in others. I know I still haven’t learnt how to receive grace and as a result, I am not growing in my relationship with God. How can I when I insist on behaving like a servant and not a friend?
I reckon the reason why people reject the gospel is because of society’s inbuilt scepticism that makes us meet kindness with suspicion
I reckon the reason why people reject the gospel is because of society’s inbuilt scepticism that makes us meet kindness with suspicion
‘There's nothing-like-a-free-lunch’
“It can’t possibly be free"
"What’s the catch?"
"What’s the catch?"
Sound familiar?
Perhaps we all need neighbours like Ros and Jo to teach us what grace means!
