There’s someone I know whose behavioural pattern is on a downward spiral. He is drowning in credit card debt, has no permanent home, a dead end job, a son he can’t relate to, a string of failed relationships…
A close friend is considering leaving her husband of 2 years. They are from opposite ends of the social stratum; she is a doctor, he is/was a rubbish collector. When they met, she thought she could inspire him to pursue a career as a chef, and for a while he went along with it. But after 2 years of being in and out of jobs, he is now unemployed. He hates chef work and has recently been diagnosed with epilepsy and now considers himself ‘disabled’. He shows no sign of wanting to work, stays at home all day, and when she comes home tired from a long shift at the hospital, their bed is unmade; there are still dishes in the sink. She is wondering whether she made a big mistake marrying this guy. “I want a man who can look after me. A man who has ambition... he isn’t that man”...
A work colleague has been diagnosed with an illness, which means she has to take steroids to control it. These affect her moods and make her extremely ill tempered and depressed. She is in her mid 30’s, from a culture where if you are still single at that age, you are despised. Because she is unmarried, it falls to her to shoulder the responsibility of looking after her elderly and sick mother. She has no life of her own, is frustrated, “I just want to fly away, just get away from this place…”
And then there’s me. Floating along in life with no purpose or direction, LONELY, unable to form close relationships due to a fear of being vulnerable and of rejection.
Disappointed that after 18 years this ‘ personal relationship with Jesus’ hasn’t yet materialised. I cast off the yoke of religious ritual which had proved futile in getting close to God, so that I could embrace him. And now it seems I exchanged one set of rituals for another. It seems to me that the only way to get close to God is to die and be with him.
Is Jesus the answer?
