“So how come you go to an ‘all white’ church… is it because you like white guys?”
I was a bit puzzled with this line of reasoning. I’ve been mulling over that one all day.
First of all, I am attracted to handsome men with good physique, charm, self-confidence, an outgoing personality, creative bla bla bla. I relate easier to guys from a similar background… educated, middle class. and would only think of ‘Race’ in terms of stereotypical behaviour normally associated with it e.g. I’m more inclined towards Italians and Poles because all the ones I’ve met have been warm, funny and direct, Germans -tortured neurotic souls, American (men) – shallow, English- tight-assed until you put a bit of alcohol into them!!
I was offended that she would even suggest that the only reason I came to St B’s was such a superficial one. Joining a church is akin to entering into a marriage - the start of a (hopefully) life long relationship with God’s people, with Him at its centre. A place where you will invest your time, money, emotions… I can’t put a finger on why I decided to become a member of St B’s. I’d been ‘churchless’ for a few months and was captivated by the first service I attended there. It was Advent Sunday- a Family service (where kids don’t go to Sunday school but stay in the main service). I loved the interactive games, worship; the fact that a woman, Helen, was preaching the sermon; the tea, coffee and biscuits served throughout the service; the humility of the church leaders, the simplicity… the whole informality of it all… THE FREEDOM. The verse 2 Corinthians 3:17 ‘…where the Lord’s Spirit is, there is freedom’ springs to mind. It just felt… right.
Race didn’t feature at all in this decision.
St B’s isn’t a perfect church. It’s taken a while to make friends, I still feel slightly isolated because of my age – too old to interact socially with the Singles- too young in attitude to interact with my (mostly all married) age group. There’s the behind-the-scenes church politics going on, a few disgruntled people, gossip, and the very humanness of people that can be pretty hurtful. But I love my ‘St B’s family’ all the same.
The person who asked the question is American; where Race is a BIG issue. She is also completely obsessed with guys, marriage, and babies - a mindset that I am gradually getting over (I mean the guys and marriage bit). Until she mentioned it, I wasn’t even particularly bothered by the ‘white churchiness’ apart from maybe the ‘Indie’ worship music, and people’s inability to harmonise!!! There are very few of us blacks in St B’s, along with the Japanese, Indians, and a couple of Polish. I’d say our 3% ethnic minority demographic is representative of most of the UK.
All I want to do now is concentrate on living a productive Single life – not one where I am on hold waiting for a guy to come along and complete me.
