It's coming up to the long Easter weekend! 4 whole days off work! Yati is away on holiday. Apart from church, there is not much else to do.
Times like these make me think nostalgically about my church in Uganda -Kampala Pentecostal Church. I really miss my friends. The problem with nostalgia is that one tends to gloss over the bad bits and everything takes on a rosy haze! It wasn't ALL good, but at least it was better than St Barnabas.
Last Sunday's 5pm service was about friendship. The preacher made an interesting observation, have you ever noticed that when you walk into a Christian bookstore, you won't find any books on Friendship. In fact this was the first sermon I've heard on the subject. It is mentioned in passing in Singleness seminars, as if the subject is only relevant to Singles. The group I sat in to discuss the sermon were all married couples with children. They felt that they didn't have time to invest in friendships because of family committments. One of the guys said to me
"It must be easier for you to make friends because you are still a student"
Aside from the fact that I am not a student, it isn't!! I still find it difficult making friends at St B's.
This is how it goes...
-we meet in church on Sundays,
-at house group on Wednesdays or
-at worship practice on Thursdays.
There is no time to have conversations or build close relationships within the limited time. Also we are focussed on whatever is at hand -be it the service, bible study or worship practice.
People seem quite happy to know you within the 'church' context, but always give the impression that they are busy at any other times.
Just this morning, a guy in my House Group put on Facebook that he'd just got engaged. We've been in the same group for over 2 years and I didn't even know he had a girlfriend! See what I mean?
Maybe it is just the culture of London. People prefer to keep things impersonal- it is easier that way! The cost of a good honest solid friendship seems to outweigh the benefits.
I miss my prayer partners Mboni and Shifa; hanging out with Sharpe, Sam, Trinity, the Gospel dancers; spending nights at the Ojera's; having tea at Ricky Eyaru's or Ronnie Mananu's; having people drop in at my home; being invited to my friend's family parties. That just doesn't happen here.
Jesus told us in John 15:12 to love one another as He has loved us. It says somewhere else in John I think that the world will know that we are Christians because we love each other. This is one of the things that make us stand out from the crowd! I'm sorry, but love isn't restricted to insincere, 'How are you's? and "Fine's" said with fake smiles on a Sunday morning.
The church leadership recently introduced a 'Getting to know each other' section in the service. Questions are put up on the powerpoint to help members of the congregation have a 5 minute conversation with someone they do not know. It's a start. I don't know whether it will address the real issue. Maybe they should get us to arrange a coffee date instead of just chatting at church. That would require more effort and take people outside their comfort zones.
I've been trying to change the mindset of the people in my House Group ever since I joined. We start every year with a resolution to develop better friendships... the year goes by and then it is time again to make the same resolution. I organise about 90% of the socials. I guess I should be grateful that at least 10% gets done by the others.
I wish there was a way to bring about lasting change?
