Yati and I were discussing the Rules the other day. They only seem to work when you are not interested in a guy. But the moment you like a guy, it is harder to apply the Rules because... you like him. You want to see him often and spend time. You rearrange your schedule to create time for him, rave about him to your friends and focus all your attention on him.
Guys for some reason don’t like this. It puts them off.
I’ve been on a couple of dates with this guy. I had reservations to start with because from his online profile, I established that he was short. I don’t like short men. My ‘type’ is my height or slightly taller. But on the other hand, I thought I should be more open to the possibility of dating men who were physically not ‘my type’ – who knows they might have a great personality. A friend at University, who was quite short, told me that he had to be twice as charming to make up for his deficiency. (And he was very charming)
On the first date, I struggled to hide my disappointment. Not only was he short, but he just did not do it for me physically. He’s got nice brown eyes with lovely long eyelashes and a nicely shaped nose, but that’s where it stops! I don’t like his large ears, lips and weak chin –in side profile it reminds me of a duck. I know that we do not choose how we look, and I probably sound quite shallow focussing on the physical, but surely God would not have put in us certain desires without reason. Physical attraction is an important factor.
Personality wise, I was waiting for the charm, the spark the charisma and it just didn’t happen!!! He babbled on a bit which I put down to nervousness. So I gave him a second chance and agreed to go on another date. It wasn’t any better. Throughout the meal he kept on making references to travelling with ‘someone special’ (meaningful look at me), how much he would like to cook a special meal for me etc. At one point, he cracked an off colour joke about the best meal for two being breakfast. I gave him a blank look. He repeats
“Get that? The best meal for two is breakfast?”
Blank look.
After dinner he praised my ‘wonderful’ qualities and how privileged he felt that I had agreed to go out on a date with him. He declared his attraction and that he would very much like to be in a relationship with me, if I’d have him.
It was really sweet, but… how do you tell a guy, “I think you look like a duck and it does not impress me that you speak with your mouth full, and order the waiters around like they are nobodies”
I told him that I could only be friends... "I don’t really know you, and I do not like to be rushed into decisions!"
To which he jumps in with, “So you are not ruling out anything”
At this point I should have said, “Yes, I am!”, but I took the cowards way and said
“No I’m not. Just don’t put me on the spot about this”
He kept repeating after that
“You are not ruling out anything. I am so happy!”
ARGHHH!!!!
Incidents like this make me wonder, if guys are only attracted to women who are not interested in them, then have all women in relationships just compromised and SETTLED for the guys they are with?
