Beloved

I woke up at 4.00am with a prompting to just spend time with God. Not praying or interceding for anyone… just chilling. I opened my NIV Bible to Hosea 2 - verses 14 and 16 leapt out at me,

"...Therefore I am now going to allure her;
I will lead her into the desert
and speak tenderly to her…

…In that day," declares the LORD,
"you will call me 'my husband';
you will no longer call me 'my master’… "

The word “My Beloved” kept coming to me and I just knew it applied to me. I was reminded of a song we used to sing in church based on Song of Solomon 2:16

“I am my Beloved’s and He is mine”

O praise be to You, Lover of my soul!

Christmas!

Well... it's been a long day, it's 2.30 a.m. and my last guest has just departed. Feeling too lazy to wash up all the pots and pans in the sink. Will do them tomorrow morning...or night...

On Christmas Eve I went to my church's midnight carol service. It was beautiful! The church was lit only by candles and the singing was amazing.

Back home, I slept fitfully because I was worried that my alarm would not go off at 7.00 am resulting in me oversleeping. This would be an unmitigated disaster because I was down for sound mixing at the Christmas morning services. Woke up at 4.00am, checked the alarm clock, dropped off, only to wake up 10 minutes later to check again to make sure I had set it right. See my clock is in 12 hour mode, and I recall once setting it inadvertently for 7.00pm, instead of 7.00 am, and waking up at 10.00am!!!
I prayed to the Holy Spirit to wake me up at the right time. Despite this prayer, I still woke up a couple more times in a panic. O me of little faith. However, I resisted the urge to check the clock saying "Holy Spirit I trust you!"

I got up at 6.55am.

At church, I found out that there was no AV operator to put up the Power Point slides for the first service. This was not good because an AV operator was ESSENTIAL to this service. Modern technology has replaced the books of Common Prayer, such that the liturgy and prayers that the people say together, are all on PowerPoint.
I've never operated the AV before, didn't even know how to switch it on! So I phoned Paul, Tech Team boss, who is in Leeds with his family for Christmas, to talk me through it. Meanwhile, the vicar, Colin, apologised to the congregation for the delay caused by "technical problems". I give him the thumbs up and then... just as he was about to start the service I realised with horror that the slides on the PowerPoint show were not moving, and signalled frantically for him to STOP!! Thankfully, he is a quick thinker so he improvised and asked the faithful to talk amongst themselves while we sorted things out i.e while I made another call to Paul. Resolved it. This time Colin asked the congregation to thank me for doing the AV, drawing their attention to the fact that I was new to this. They clapped for me.

The drama did not end there!

For the second service, we drafted in a congregation member to do the AV. However, 30 minutes before the service, whilst doing the sound check for the band I noticed with horror, that despite them being connected, no sound was coming out of both guitars and lead keyboard. When I phoned Paul, the call went straight to voice mail. Major panic!! Phoned up the other soundman, Dave who is in Cornwall at the moment, for help. Was on the point of totally losing it when...like a ray of light...one of the other experienced sound men, Simon...who hadn't planned on coming to church... appeared beside me! Such relief! He sorted it all out for me, completed the sound check and handed back to me to do the mixing for the service. I burst into tears!!!
Despite all this, the service went well. There were a lot of people praying for me!

Home at 12.30! Cooked a Ugandan traditional meal of matooke (green bananas steamed in banana leaves) with roasted ground nut sauce (satay), Chicken baked in Thai green sauce, rice and chapatis (Indian flat bread). My brother and a couple of friends came over for the lunch and then we played a game called 'Knowing Me, Knowing You'. For once my brother was a good sport, and actually stayed to play. They all left after the game, except Chris who stayed to watch 'Hot Fuzz' and 'Dreamgirls' with me. We then talked till late and now I am exhausted. Going to sleep now!
It was a lovely day

Shakespeares' Globe

Last weekend's date was with Chris. His emails were very cheeky and he suggested an interesting venue for our date–the annual Frost Fair at South Bank. I was really looking forward to meeting him.

I got there a bit earlier and was pleasantly surprised to learn that it was free entry into Shakespeare’s Globe theatre and Museum that day! Now, just had to muster the courage to get past the Anti Shakespeare society that had set up a silent protest outside the main doors. They were holding up placards that said things like, “Just Say No”; “Drugs, Violence and Hard Words”; “Join our Silent Protest”
The Museum is interesting for die hard Shakespeareans. Which I’m not. I was only there because it was free. Would never pay £9 just for that! There’s lots of information about what London looked like back then, what the people wore, how costumes were made, what dyes were used, how long it takes to put on makeup, how the plays were published etc. There were a few actors milling about, dealing ‘Marlow’ plays hidden in the depths of their trench coats. I told the cute ‘Brother’ who sidled up to me, “No, I don’t want Marlow, but can I have your phone number instead? He didn’t give it to me.
I found one interactive display, where you could record yourself doing a scene from a Shakespeare play. Pre- recorded actor’s voices say some lines and then you speak your line which is highlighted in red. It’s a bit like karaoke! I did Lady Macbeth from a scene in Macbeth, just after he’s killed the King. There are some things in life that are easier done when there are two of you, with Yati for instance, but this time there wasn’t and I felt like a right twat speaking in the booth on my own. When I played it back, my voice sounded so feint and it was obvious I should have shouted… by then the next group of people were waiting their turn and I couldn’t bring myself to re-record it in front of them.
The tour of the theatre ends in the actual Globe – the stage etc. It’s not as big as I thought it would be and there is the open sky above it. So if you are one of the unfortunates who cannot afford to pay full price for the covered stall seats, you’d be drenched in our fine English weather. Some guys were playing old music on the stage. This was followed by a comedy sketch that I didn’t ‘get’. I think it was supposed to be funny?

Chris phones to say he has arrived. His real life personality was not as impressive as his online one. A geek. The Rules say that you should let the guy direct the conversation, but he wasn’t giving me anything to work with so our time together was punctuated by long periods of silence. He also didn’t have any other ideas apart from browse through the Frost Fair stalls – all 20 of them, which lasted about 10 minutes. I suggested coffee at nearby Tate Modern. We sat there painfully, even small talk was strained. In the end, I just said, “I have to go. I’m meeting someone else!” The relief on his face was palpable!

I haven't heard from him since! Thank God!

Joe

Internet access this last week has been VERY restricted as I have been working away from the office. I’ve got to be the only blogger in the world that does not have unlimited access to the Internet. Still it isn’t all bad as I use computers at our local library. As a member you get the first hour free. The downside to using the library is that the connection is VERY slow- I think they are still on dial-up or something. Also I have to use it during peak periods i.e. after work along with all the other poor people who don’t have computers at home. Access at these times is limited to 15 or 30 minutes if you are lucky.

The work computer is ok, but I only let myself access it for 10 minutes every hour. If the smokers can be allowed to go outside regularly to indulge their habit, well then so can I! Unfortunately, access is also restricted and I can’t get into any of the dating websites or Facebook. So at lunch time I trudge down to nearby Internet café, where I can access emails from the many admirers on Dating Direct, and write on people’s ‘Walls’.

Last Thursday I met up with an Italian guy, called Joe, for coffee. We met through the meet up group ‘Club Roma’ – an Italian speakers group – in the days when I was still enthusiastic about learning Italian (that’s kind of fallen by the wayside now) Anywhooooo… Joe emailed the whole group to say that he couldn’t make our Saturday meet-ups, but was available to meet during the week and on Sundays. I thought that he had emailed me and we started an email correspondence. I later realised that he hadn’t singled me out, and embarrassed, stopped writing. A month later, I received an email from him asking whether I was still alive and would I like to meet up to watch an Italian movie? I sent back a pleasant email, but didn’t comment about the movie. Then another email… Would I like to meet up for coffee? Why not? So yes, agreed to that.

Joe is very intriguing, and he tells his story here Joe Palermo

But for those of you too lazy to click on links, in summary, he’s been through a lot of experiences, and is your typical ‘bad boy’! An unusual character that was definitely worth meeting!!! I must admit I was a bit apprehensive, but when I finally met him, I realised that I was just being silly. He’s one of the easiest guys to talk to and it felt really comfortable sitting al fresco, sipping my Americano, listening to him talk about himself, career and his life. He was very relaxed and un-self conscious… Reminded me very much of my high school best friend, Doreen, who was always full of wacky ideas and not afraid to take risks to pursue her dreams in the media. I admired her a great deal. Talking to Joe, I thought to myself, this guy could well be my best friend. I mean, Simon, is supposed to be my ‘honorary’ best friend, but ever since he got married he’s become quite distant. Which in all fairness he should because it is not really appropriate to have a female ‘best friend’ who isn’t your wife, is it?
So the position of male best friend is vacant, and I just may have found the person to fill it!

Questioning the Rules

Yati and I were discussing the Rules the other day. They only seem to work when you are not interested in a guy. But the moment you like a guy, it is harder to apply the Rules because... you like him. You want to see him often and spend time. You rearrange your schedule to create time for him, rave about him to your friends and focus all your attention on him.
Guys for some reason don’t like this. It puts them off.

I’ve been on a couple of dates with this guy. I had reservations to start with because from his online profile, I established that he was short. I don’t like short men. My ‘type’ is my height or slightly taller. But on the other hand, I thought I should be more open to the possibility of dating men who were physically not ‘my type’ – who knows they might have a great personality. A friend at University, who was quite short, told me that he had to be twice as charming to make up for his deficiency. (And he was very charming)

On the first date, I struggled to hide my disappointment. Not only was he short, but he just did not do it for me physically. He’s got nice brown eyes with lovely long eyelashes and a nicely shaped nose, but that’s where it stops! I don’t like his large ears, lips and weak chin –in side profile it reminds me of a duck. I know that we do not choose how we look, and I probably sound quite shallow focussing on the physical, but surely God would not have put in us certain desires without reason. Physical attraction is an important factor.
Personality wise, I was waiting for the charm, the spark the charisma and it just didn’t happen!!! He babbled on a bit which I put down to nervousness. So I gave him a second chance and agreed to go on another date. It wasn’t any better. Throughout the meal he kept on making references to travelling with ‘someone special’ (meaningful look at me), how much he would like to cook a special meal for me etc. At one point, he cracked an off colour joke about the best meal for two being breakfast. I gave him a blank look. He repeats
“Get that? The best meal for two is breakfast?”
Blank look.
After dinner he praised my ‘wonderful’ qualities and how privileged he felt that I had agreed to go out on a date with him. He declared his attraction and that he would very much like to be in a relationship with me, if I’d have him.
It was really sweet, but… how do you tell a guy, “I think you look like a duck and it does not impress me that you speak with your mouth full, and order the waiters around like they are nobodies”
I told him that I could only be friends... "I don’t really know you, and I do not like to be rushed into decisions!"
To which he jumps in with, “So you are not ruling out anything”
At this point I should have said, “Yes, I am!”, but I took the cowards way and said
“No I’m not. Just don’t put me on the spot about this”
He kept repeating after that
“You are not ruling out anything. I am so happy!”
ARGHHH!!!!

Incidents like this make me wonder, if guys are only attracted to women who are not interested in them, then have all women in relationships just compromised and SETTLED for the guys they are with?