My lodger is moving out by October. The announcement did not come as a surprise. The last few months have been trying for her. Our small flat has played host to a lot of ‘guests’- loud Church Group meetings, long stay relatives and one time I even had absolute strangers from www.hospitalityclub.org. I know she values her privacy and because she works in a high pressured environment needs a place to unwind after work. She hasn’t come out and said that she minds (Only when the hospitality club guys were around) but I can sense her discomfort, irritation, annoyance
One of my spiritual gifts is hospitality- I love having parties, cooking for people and just having them around. This is the main reason why I moved to my own place. I’ve tried to compromise and be a bit considerate. I’m not entertaining as much as I would like to. And now when I have people around, I feel really guilty because of the effect on her.
I sat down to work out the figures and discovered that my salary JUST about covers my fixed monthly outgoings, i.e. mortgage, rent, bills, credit card repayments, tithe-the non-negotiable items. I’ve been depending on her monthly contribution and I don’t know how I am going to survive after she’s gone! I constantly worry about it. I regret money that I have spent recklessly in the past, the holidays I took abroad, and reproach myself for not saving up when I could.
Will I find another lodger? Will I lose the flat?
Last Sunday I felt so overwhelmed. At the end of service I went to the front of the church and just wept before God. I tried to negotiate with Him about the tithe. Surely is it right to keep tithing if it means I have nothing left to live on.
What is the biblical position? Why ask? In Mark 12:42 - 44 it is told that a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins, worth only a fraction of a penny into the offering box. Calling his disciples to him, Jesus said, "I tell you the truth, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything—all she had to live on
So the tithe is still payable! I’d love to know what happened after the widow went back home. Did God provide for her? Some of these bible stories can be frustrating because they have no end and are only meant to generate discussion. Also they don't always have nice tidy happy endings. Maybe she went home and starved to death.
I’ve suddenly remembered another story. I don’t know why I am only remembering stories about widows - perhaps it is because I can relate to them being a single woman living on my own?
In 1 Kings 17: 7-15 Elijah went to a widow in Zarephath and asked her for bread.
She replied, “As surely as the LORD your God lives…I don't have any bread—only a handful of flour in a jar and a little oil in a jug. I am gathering a few sticks to take home and make a meal for myself and my son, that we may eat it—and die."
Elijah said to her, "Don't be afraid. Go home and do as you have said. But first make a small cake of bread for me from what you have and bring it to me, and then make something for yourself and your son. For this is what the LORD, the God of Israel, says: 'The jar of flour will not be used up and the jug of oil will not run dry until the day the LORD gives rain on the land.' "
She went away and did as Elijah had told her. So there was food every day for Elijah and for the woman and her family. For the jar of flour was not used up and the jug of oil did not run dry, in keeping with the word of the LORD spoken by Elijah.
God is my Father!
Last year when I came back from my time abroad, I was so broke and He provided for me! I pray that when thoughts of despair threaten to overwhelm me, that I will hold on to the truth that God is concerned about my needs. He may not provide in the way that I would like Him to and maybe there is a lesson to be learned here. Perhaps He is teaching me to live more frugally, stop being lazy and take up a part time job again. Ditch the expensive car and start using the bus. Cancel the gym membership and think of creative ways to keep fit. And stop being so vain, cancel my contact lenses prescription and start wearing my glasses (even though they make me look like an old spinster). And surely I can survive without expensive skin products and learn to live with the adult acne.
Whatever it is I will trust God in this!
