The Wedding!

When I got there in the morning, Simon told me that they had been up until 2.00am in the morning getting the hall ready and doing some last minute shopping. He was very calm. I asked him where his suit was, and he said that it was at his mother-in-law, Nanny Pam’s, place. Sharon had to come home to collect some stuff, so to get out of the way, we went to the church to supervise the balloon people.

I thought everything was under control until I noticed him pacing the floor clearly agitated!
“What's wrong?”
“I'm nervous!”
“About what?”
“That things will go wrong.”
The person who had promised to pick up the food from Nanny Pam's had let them down so the duty fell to Simon and me.

This was midday; the wedding was at 2.00pm.

At Nanny Pam’s even more drama awaited... The suit was not there! Sharon was stressed and did not appreciate me asking her repeatedly where it was. ‘Tell Simon to look in the wardrobe at home.” And indeed, there it was, together with crumpled white shirt. I started ironing like a mad woman and ordered him into the bathroom to shave and shower! He wanted to go for a walk to de-stress. No time for that we need to be at the church by 1.30.
At 1.00pm, his Ex- Partner phoned to ask for directions to the church. She was supposed to bring the boys, who were the pageboys, and they still had not left their home in West London??? As a result the Wedding was delayed for an hour. We all think this was maliciously deliberate. Stress levels were at an all time high. I kept reminding Si to calm down and BREATHE!

Before Sharon walked in to the church, he started shaking! “This is it then, no turning back now!” It was a beautiful ceremony, (if the sermon a tad too long!)
5 minutes before the reception, was informed that I was the Master of Ceremonies! (MC). Now it was my turn to be stressed!!! MC's are supposed to be funny, keep the audience entertained! I’m not deliberately funny- most of my ‘planned’ jokes often fall as flat as Jamaican hard dough bread. It’s all in the delivery dahling! (I'm thinking of joining Toastmasters to learn the art public speaking.) The cameraman (who was cute but MARRIED) gave me a few tips. Despite this, I still messed up. I told people to start lining up for the buffet before the kitchen was ready! Everything was really disorganised. Apart from Sharon's sisters, there wasn't really anyone to help with serving or clearing up rubbish (plates cutlery etc)! Total contrast to African weddings where you have a host of willing volunteers! The food was good. I couldn’t fully enjoy it because I was anxious about my SPEECH
The Speech… Being the last minute person that I am, I’d spent about 10 minutes the previous night working on it, and only practiced on the morning of the wedding while driving down to South London. I managed to put half of it on to prompt cards, the finishing touches to be added while everyone was eating at the reception. Unfortunately, I didn’t get any time to do this because of a) morning drama and b) this whole MC’ng business.
The end result was not bad though. One of the guests, who looked like Desmond, from the TV series, was glaring at me! (Gulp) Turns out he was not the only one giving me the evils. Apparently the ex did not appreciate parts of my speech that heaped lavish praise upon Sharon.
Not many guests knew that Simon and Sharon had met through the Internet, so when I brought up the subject, I could see the bride and groom looking anxious. I didn’t dwell on it but turned it into a joke - thanking them for showing us that the Internet is not just populated with weirdoes and psychos, but has some normal people as well…. (Pause and a glance at Simon) Weeelllll… sort of normal! The audience laughed at the right places – so really pleased!

Afterwards, I asked them to clear the dance floor, i.e. put chairs and tables to the side and was not too impressed when all the men just stood there and did not offer to help. (And Sharon and Simon were thinking of hooking me up with one of the guys there? Hmm I don't think so!) The cameraman helped…but unfortunately for me he is taken! (I was very taken with him!!!)
Then it turned boring. The DJ was lousy, no one was dancing, and I couldn’t leave before Simon and Sharon. Can’t understand why they took so long to leave. There was a posh hotel room waiting for them, which I’m sure Simon had mentioned at least a thousand times!

Despite everything, they appear to have had a good time and that’s what matters! I don’t have any close male friends left, so I guess this is the last time I’ll do the best man thing. A part of me regretfully felt that I should have done this for Stephen, who until a couple of years ago was my best friend … but there you go… you can never predict how life turns out!

Last year I was Chief Bridesmaid; this year, Best Man… Who knows maybe next year I could be BRIDE???