I'm really back

My penpals are back.
I even met the Russian penpal when he came over to London- which in his words is 'the Greatest City in the World'. He came with a friend, Katarina, and I took them out for a Halloween party and they had a great time. I particularly liked that he'd brought me Russian chocolate as a gift. Now we are friends on Facebook so we don't have to send painful emails (painful for him because of language barrier)

The German lady was just a little busy with her garden- which she is really into in a big way.

Ahh... so much happening. Where do I start?  I'll order my thoughts so that there is a logical progression in next few posts.

I'm back!

The novelty of facebook has worn off. Ok, not enough people are posting on my wall and I feel ignored again.

And both my penpals have dumped me.

I don't really miss the Russian guy. He told me that he was learning English and he needed to practice by corresponding with English speaking penpals. His emails were painful to read.  You could tell he'd spent ages composing the two-line emails with the help of a Russian/English dictionary.  You don't really appreciate fluency in a language that you take for granted until you hit a language barrier. An articulate person is reduced to the banal. For example, if asked the question, "How was your weekend?" 

instead of responding,

"It was great. I organised a Eurovision Party, and invited a great mix of people who really hit it off with each other and enjoyed themselves!

becomes:

"Oh it was great!" 

(with a mental thumbs up). Which you can put it in brackets like I just did -  if you know the 'word' in the language for thumbs up.  It fails to fully convey The. Essence. of what the party was like. I remember how frustrated my Swedish journalist friend used to feel whenever she tried and failed to express herself in English. Or couldn't remember how to say a word in English. She'd say, 'Words are my craft. I feel so helpless not knowing what words to use'

My other penpal, a German lady who lives in Washington, USA, was interesting but I think I lost her when I emailed about how I felt after my father passed away last month. Too much emotion I guess.

I need an outlet so I am back to you, my silent audience. Hello again!

Facebook meets my needs

I haven't been blogging.
The thing is, although I love sharing, I also love receiving feedback - I like to know people's reactions to what I post or write
And I think I've found this on Facebook.
And so I bid adieu to this blog. If you are on old friend, who is passing through to see if there are any updates, thank you
If you just stumbled across this blog, sorry I ran out of things to say here

God bless you

Rugby at Wembley

In my first year at University,  I made friends with Paul, the captain of the University Rugby Team, the Impis. He was a 5th year medical student, and it was pretty cool to be seen with him and the rugby team - hunks-all of them. Whenever they were going for a game, they would come first in their coach to Box (my student hall) to pick me up. Paul said I was good for the morale of the team. Owing to my exceedingly loud and piercing voice, I am a natural cheer leader. I was also very good at rounding up some of the girls from Box to come for the games. We didn't know the rules, but our enthusiastic shouts of 'Go Impis" always got a good reaction from the boys. I even had a (very) brief fling with one of them. Paul soon put an end to that by giving the guy a Serious Talk along the lines of "Stop messing with my little sister". The guy gave me a "It's not you, it's me' speech, which broke my heart.

My broken heart didn't stop my love for rugby though. Or rather should I say.... rugby players. They are sooo HOT! Those big chests and shoulders, tapered waists, big arms and legs. SOLID! Real Men! Recently during Rugby World Cup, I was going on to Yati about how much I loved and supported the England Rugby team. She commented wryly "It's not the England team you support, really, its Jonny Wilkinson"

I don't really follow national rugby, but Rugby World Cup, Six Nations, Rugby Sevens, I am THERE, glued to the TV set, yelling on my own, in my living room. I was quite pleased that my neighbour Jon is keen on his rugby. He even has a Season ticket for local rugby club, The Saracens. Last weekend, we went to the new Wembley stadium to watch a Saracens versus Harlequins game. The atmosphere was great. Before the game, there was entertainment including 'Right Said Fred' who wrote the song for the Saracens called 'Stand Up'. There were cheerleaders gyrating in front of him- British cheerleaders have a long way to go compared to their American counterparts who are wayyyy superior. I mean do they not watch films like Bring it On?

More entertainment came in the way of a big brass band, acrobats and then a tight rope walker

Saracens Won! Absolutely 'slaughtered' the Harlequins! You know, I just might become a Sarries fan - I like their strip - black with red, and little Fez hats and the whole north African thing going on there.... yeah... I think I'll officially declare myself a Sarries fan!
STAND UP!!

Simple Economics

In the March 2010 issue of Internal Auditing magazine, there’s an article about South Africa’s competition watchdog investigating domestic airline operators for alleged price fixing to exploit travellers during the football World Cup.


I couldn’t help the involuntary snort. Here in the UK, it is generally accepted that airlines, trains and tour companies push prices up to EXPLOIT travellers during peak periods.

It’s simple economics. If demand is high and resources limited– prices will go up!

In early February when booking a trip to visit my sister in Scotland for the Easter weekend, I found that all the train fares were astronomical!! This was a whole TWO MONTHS before I was due to travel. And all the train companies were charging the same exorbitant prices –price fixing?

Why shouldn’t domestic airlines in South Africa make a buck out of a situation that is to their advantage? It is what we expect. Which is why as soon as England qualified to play in the World Cup there was a stampede by fans to buy tickets before the fares went up.

But just because something is generally accepted, it doesn’t mean that it is a good thing. I am all for Fair trade and protecting consumers. If a company can convince me that the prices that they set are fair, then I have no problem paying for them. After all it’s a business and they need to survive. I do respect businesses that see opportunities and make the most of them, but cannot reconcile this with deliberate exploitation just for greed.
Perhaps our UK Competition Commission should take a leaf out of South Africa’s book and start looking into the train companies

Wheat and Alcohol Free

I'm not a current affairs type of person, so won't talk about all those topics I mentioned in my previous post. I think I was trying to be cleverer than I really am - but really I am quite a shallow person. So I'll concentrate on a topic where I have some expertise.... me

I may have mentioned that as part of my New Years Resolutions I would be giving up alcohol and wheat products.
Giving up alcohol is not a challenge as I am not much of a drinker. Thanks to the credit crunch I was already in the habit of ordering sparkling water or a lime and tonic (L&T) whenever I went out. I’m not cutting alcohol out completely – just restricting my intake to very expensive wine – as a guideline a bottle must cost at least £50 – so chances of me ever drinking again are quite slim. I completely forgot about the bottle of Baileys that my sister bought me for Christmas. It sits there taunting me every time I open the door to my fridge- it goes so well in coffee- great for an after meal drink – must r e s i s t

Going wheat free on the other hand is another matter. I’m drawing a lot of inspiration from my own culture in Uganda where wheat does not feature much in the diet. It wouldn’t - wheat does not grow well in our climate. The wheat products you would find are processed foods made from imported wheat flour like cakes, biscuits. The Indians brought us ‘chapatis’ (flat bread) which has become a national staple. But in a normal Bunyoro village, people will eat wheat on average once every 2 months.

Wheat-free in Uganda no problem but in London – major challenge!

The ingredients for a wheat-free diet are expensive. My grocery bill has doubled. Wheat products abound in the market place and are cheap. I’m talking pasta, pizza, couscous, bread, pastries, and desserts. I miss Panini!

My core diet now is rice, potatoes and maize meal which can be a bit boring so I experiment with different recipes to vary it and make it exciting. I made sushi the other day. I also bought some wheat-free flour (a blend of rice, tapioca and potato flour) which wasn’t a good flour substitute as my scones came out rock hard and chapattis brittle.

Snacking foods are almost non- existent. Most chocolate and (potato) crisps contain wheat. I had taken to eating carrots but my body has decided it doesn’t want that anymore – and chick peas too. The only crisps I can eat are Doritos made from corn flour and Sensations Sweet chilli crisps. Nuts too – but they have a high calorie count and are not filling.

Eating out is a real pain. In restaurants I feel terrible having to go through menus with the waiting staff to establish which dishes are wheat free. The other week in Chinatown the waiter kept dashing back and forth to the kitchen to consult with the chef. What was so comical is that instead of taking the menu with him, (thus doing it all at once) he kept on going back each time to ask about each dish. Friends have to think twice before inviting you over for dinner. I know because I used to be one of those friends. I’ve never invited my friend Stuart to dinner because he has a nut allergy. And when I invited Claudine I was on tenterhooks for fear that she would have a horrible allergic reaction to my food – she is allergic to dairy, fruit, and nuts – pretty much everything. My coping strategy is to eat before I go out, or bring my own food – then I pick at salad or soup – it’s the only way.

But it’s so worth it. So far, since the year begain I’ve lost 10 lbs – with minimal exercise. The clothes feel looser. I’m now starting Phase 2 which is to introduce exercise – Salsa and Pilates. Hopefully by Easter I’ll have achieved my goal of dropping a dress size.

Writers Block

I have so many things buzzing through my head but for some reason I can't write anything substantial about them
Things like: -

• Tiger Woods debacle - and an African's take on it - no big deal in our polygamous society
• The latest weapon in the fight against teen pregnancy in UK - a 'morning after pill' that works after 5 days
• The Iraq Enquiry - and Tony Blair's performance at it - smooth, as slippery as an eel - which leads me on to my views on politicians in general - particularly my MP who is NOT getting my vote in May
• The Californian transvestite who is pregnant! And just how weird that looks
• The 'Tory's and their social engineering agenda - with the proposed marriage tax breaks
• The SNOW storms we had in the UK - I've lived here 11 years and have never seen it this bad!

All these things BUZZING!

Flying the nest...

Gosh, I've been super busy and have had no time to blog. Plus have been exchanging several messages with my penpals.
My younger sister has finally left for Glasgow, Scotland.
It wouldn't be my first choice - in all the weather forecasts I see, extreme weather in UK seems to be concentrated there. Plus it takes about 8 hours to get there by coach! But it's got Scots - who can be very good - IF they like you, and horrible if they don't. What I appreciate about them is that they are very upfront - they tell you exactly what they think of you.  The English on the other hand....

Still. I'm happy she's gone. I felt I was turning into the mom of a moody teenager (even though she is 26) She kept things from me, sulked most of the time, left most of the housework to me. So I won't miss her in that regard.
On the other hand, when she communicated she could be quite fun and interesting. I'll miss dancing together in front of the living room mirror

I've decided to keep her room - spare. No more lodgers. Perhaps I'll get me a cat - typical spinster companion

Oh well got to go. Have to start redecorating my new spare room/walk in wardrobe/study.

A year in review

TV this time of the year can be a bit repetitive. The programmes have titles like
100 best songs of the noughties
100 best movie moments...
100 funniest comedy moments..
20 top TV moments...

What is it about this time of the year that makes us pause to think on what is gone. It's like as if it has some bearing on our future plans.
2009 has been interesting - not the most interesting year in my life

I've put on a dress size - yeah the diet and exercise slipped by the way side. This fact was brought home to me while I was getting ready for New Years Eve masquerade ball and none of my evening dresses fit.

Let's see what's happened this past year. It might help me with my new year resolutions...

• Started a new job in Central London in January. Mucked it up in December and my fate is to be decided in 2010
• Started my professional Internal Audit exams - really not me, but hey I've got to do it because of work
• Bought an ANNUAL season travel ticket - it feels great not to worry about 'topping' up the Oyster card, or having enough credit on it to travel
• Thanks to my Cineworld Unlimited card, I watched more films than I'd care to admit - wait a minute - I have admitted it. The winners this year were the 'Indie' films like '500 Days of Summer' and the bromance 'I Love You Man'. Worst films of the year 'GI Joe' and 'The Invention of Lying' Drivel!
• My little sister moved in with me. It's been ... challenging. Mainly because we are soooooo different 
• New neighbours Ros and Jon. They've been such a blessing to me. 
• One of my closest friends, Sheila, got married
• Briefly dated an Indian - it ended when I discovered that he meant it to be a clandestine relationship - this doesn't sit very well with my personality (plus he was a lousy dancer)
• Through the Hospitality Club, I met Urska and Lea from Slovenia and through Black Travels I met Brian from New York. Through Yati, Ellen and her family from Sweden/France/USA. I love meeting people from other countries, cultures 
• I reconnected with an old childhood friend from 22 years ago.
• I made 2 new penpals. Eva - German lady who lives in Washington State and Denis from Russia. Probably the reason why I have been so slack on this blog - cos writing regularly to them has provided me with the outlet to express myself.
• I met the Archbishop of Uganda, Henry Orombi when he visited my church. I actually hugged the guy
• I seem to have now lost interest in any real life men. I'm not a lesbian which leaves me with 'Asexual'.  Although I have fantasies about Jesse L Martin, Jeremy Northam and Jude Law - what do they have in common - gorgeous cheek bones.
• Received a weird marriage proposal from a total stranger
• 2009 has been my most challenging year in terms of finances - the lack of them. In spite of this, I have been blessed with new furniture, an all expenses paid for holiday in Sardinia, a car to drive on weekends...

So looking ahead to 2010
My priority is to drop that dress size I picked up in 2009. Figured the only way to do this for me is to cut out all snacky food like biscuits, cakes, crisps, pastries etc.... and take up Pilates

I am going to visit South Africa, Morocco and Jordan this year - so not my beloved Italy... hmm... that might be difficult... maybe if Ryanair is doing a REALLY good deal - I'll do a weekend in Roma

the 'window' is shut

It's a little harsh, but I don't 'invest' in strangers

'P' phoned me 3 times on Wednesday. The third time, he used his friend's phone and asked me to call him back on his phone... that he had ran out of credit on his pay as you go phone (if he was trying to impress this was not the way...).
In the course of the conversation, he claimed that he wants to marry me  (mind I have never met the guy), and has already picked out schools for the kids. I laughed because I thought it's all a big joke. When the conversation started looking like it was serious (starts referring to me as his 'wife'), I suddenly found 'something important to do' that needed my immediate attention.
He reminded me that I'd agreed to meet on Sunday for a date. I thought it was just lunch. He insisted on calling it a 'date'. He reckons that after the fourth one he will go down on his knees and propose- which i will accept
I ask "How are you so sure I want to marry you?"
"When you meet me, you'll think 'Yeah this is the one!"

Okay, curiosity has got the better of me, so was looking forward to the lunch ('date' according to him)
We agreed on a time - 2.00 pm, but not a place because he didn't bring it up. You'd expect that the person who suggested the meet up would call before the appointed day to confirm a venue

Thursday - no call

Friday - nothing

Saturday -  still nothing

I made other plans

Sunday at 2.30pm, he calls and leaves a message asking me to call him back. Is this guy having a laugh?
7.00pm, another phone call - I watched the phone ring but make no move to take the call. He didn't leave a message this time.

As I said, I don't invest in strangers

Surreal...

So I got this really weird voice mail this morning,

“Kimuli, my flower, it’s me, give me a call when you get this message”

Hmm

The accent was male, Ugandan with undertones of an English accent – so someone who has lived here for a while. I scoured my mind trying to figure out who it could be. The only people who sound like that are the Kiwanuka brothers? But we keep in touch and if they were coming to London, I would have known. And anyway they wouldn’t call me ‘My Flower’ usually they call me ‘Little Flower’ or ‘Petit Fleur’.

Who could it be?

Nothing for it. Will just have to return the call and find out

“Hello, this is Kimuli”

“Heelloooooooooooooooo, my flower” like he was greeting an old friend.

“Who is this?”

“I got your number from your brother” Okay so he is my brother’s friend

“You wouldn’t even guess who this is.”

“Is this Denis… no wait… it can’t be Denis… Denis is in Kampala”

And he certainly doesn’t call me ‘My Flower’


I won’t bore you with all the details of the conversation. This guy who I will refer to as ‘P’ finally told me his name. Nope didn’t ring a bell.
He said he was very good friends with my brother. Apparently we met 15 years ago and he’d been quite taken with me but because I was his friend’s younger sister I was ‘off limits’

Clearly this is not an issue anymore because he asked my brother for my number – which the latter gladly gave with the vital information that I was still single.
He then went on to give me what Ugandans would call his ‘CV’

When he met my brother (while on holiday in Uganda – actually he gushed on and on about my brother which I thought was a bit much);

What he does for a living (runs his own company);

Where he lives (an empty 3 bed roomed house which he’d like to share with someone hint hint);

Do I have a ‘type’? What’s my type?

Oh my gosh you’ve got such a lovely voice, do you look as good as you sound? Would you like to go out for dinner… this weekend!??!!!

Whoaaaaa….this is going way too fast for me

I’m intrigued, so I’ve agreed to meet up for lunch this Sunday.

I hope he looks as good as he sounds

Homosexuality revisited

A close friend 'came out' to me this evening.
He'd probably been thinking all evening about how he'd introduce the subject and he said quite randomly:

"I had a relationship. I was really into this person. It was a guy"

I was stunned - took a while to absorb the news.

Just yesterday at my bible study group we were discussing what our passions were- being an indicator of where God wants us to serve and use our gifts. I mentioned to them that 'Homosexuality', in particular 'homosexual Christians' is a subject that is close to my heart. It's one of the major issues dividing the Anglican church. St B's stance is that they accept that some people are born with homosexual orientation, but that they should not act upon it. Rather they should commit to living in celibacy for the rest of their lives. My opinion is "Bollocks!" If the church is acknowledging that homosexuality is natural, then why impose celibacy on them? Wouldn't that be going against their nature?

I likes absolutes. Black or white. I hate grey areas. My position on homosexuality used to be very clear to me, after all don't these verses from the Bible condemn homosexuality?

Romans 1: 26 - 27 (NIV)

"Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones. In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed indecent acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their perversion"

Leviticus 18:22

“You shall not lie with a male as with a woman; it is an abomination.”
Leviticus 20:13
“If a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination; they shall be put to death, their blood is upon them.”

But I've since been exposed to other teaching that has put this subject into the 'grey'. Leading homosexual Christian teachers claim that these Bible verses were taken out of context. That they were relevant for that time and that culture, but do not apply to modern day Christianity. Much in the same way that slavery was legitimate and accepted during biblical times- but unacceptable these days. The best reasoned case I've found is here
So maybe I should not condemn St B's for 'sitting on the fence', because that's where I am also. What I do know is this: - a lot of my gay brothers and sisters are being driven away from the church and from God because of the rejection, judging, despising and pity that they face from other church members
The church should be a place where people meet God, experience his love and as a result have their lives transformed. I do know of churches where the gay Christians are welcome and live fruitful, faith and Spirit filled lives. Clearly their 'homosexual orientation' does not keep them from forming a relationship with God. Through them, God has touched the lives of the wider gay community and brought them home.
And for me that's what's important. I should be focussing on ways to include people in the family of God - regardless of who they are or where they come from. All this other stuff, homosexuality, seems unimportant in the light of what really matters - God, his unconditional love for his creation and his desire to restore the broken relationship - if we will have him.

Examinations

I'm preparing for my exams next week.

I haven't done exams in ermmm 13 years. It's really takes discipline to study. One of my issues is the even though I'm quick at grasping broad concepts, I can't be asked to learn details. Examiners are obsessed with detail. Particularly really boring subjects like Corporate Governance and Risk Management. Hey you, I saw that yawn.

My employer gave me 2 weeks study leave. A week's already gone by (so fast). During this time I've had lovely lie- in's in the mornings, wandered up and down the flat tidying things, doing laundry, tried out new recipes (to my younger sisters' delight) - everything except actually study. I've squeezed in an hour or so everyday, but mind wanders and I'm up making another cup of tea

So I really need prayer at this moment. That God helps me make the most of the time left

Online TV

Online TV streaming and an unlimited download limit from my broadband provider have been a blessing for me. I no longer have to plan my busy social life around my favourite TV programmes because I can always catch up later online.

Advantages of this is that I can pause, forward, rewind, don’t have to buy overpriced DVD box sets (which I only ever watch once). I can even watch episodes that are not yet out in the UK– as I get perverse pleasure from telling my friends what’s going to happen next... Mwah ha ha haha ha ha

Ehem..

The thing is that I was so excited about catching up on 30 Rock, Ugly Betty, Privileged; Desperate Housewives, X factor, Being Erica, the Book Group, The IT Crowd etc., that I ended up watching ALL the episodes. I have now run out of programmes to watch

So I googled ‘American TV romcoms’ and stumbled across 'Drop Dead Diva'. It’s about a would-be model called Deb who has a fatal accoident. While she is being processed by an angel called Fred at the pearly gates, he tells her that she is a self centred zero – no good or bad deeds in life. While he is deciding what to do with her, they have an argument and she hits the return button on his computer. This sends her soul back to earth where it enters the body of recently vacated soul –a plus size lawyer called Jane. As you can imagine this is a bit of shock to Deb who used to be size zero and always got by on her good looks. She isn’t allowed to tell anyone that she’s Deb. Plus side is that she gets Jane’s IQ. Fred gets demoted to her guardian angel. And TWIST…Deb’s boyfriend Grayson works in Jane’s firm….
Okay, when you write it out it doesn’t sound great, but it really is compelling viewing. It’s so refreshing when the protagonist in a programme is a big woman in her early 30’s. You get to see things like the bias and judgement people have against big women. You feel her pain when she is powerless to stop Grayson from falling in love with her office nemesis - super bitch Kim. I also just love the clothes Jane wears.
The last episode of Series 1 ended on a cliff hanger. I hear they’ve commissioned a second series.
I can’t wait!

The Secret

My younger sister asked me,

“What do you want in a guy?”

I launched into a list of ‘don’t wants’, which she interrupted with

“I didn’t ask you what you don’t want, I asked what you WANT?”

Hmm – never thought about that!

She lent to me a book called ‘The Secret’ by Rhonda Byrne– which is about the Law of Attraction. The basic premise of this law is that ‘like’ attracts ‘like’. The things you focus on – negative and positive- become your reality. So if you focus on positive stuff, you attract positive things and so with the negative.

As a Christian (or whatever I am these days), my knee jerk reaction is to dismiss ‘The Secret’ – after all it is New Age stuff. The problem with New Age is that it seeks to de-personalise and control God, by reducing Him to terms like ‘ the universe’ or ‘Energy’ or ‘the Force’. I have too much respect for God to even think that I can begin to control Him. Don’t think I haven’t tried it. Like many Christians I am guilty of trying to manipulate God through prayer

But there’s something to be learned from the Secret. After all truth is truth - whether it is in your doctrine or not. Most of the principles in the Secret are borrowed from the Bible. These Biblical principles aren’t restricted to just Christians. Regardless of who you are, if you apply them, they will work.

For example Faith - in the Bible, the book of Hebrews 11:1 (New International Version) says that faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. The book of James 2: 17 says that - Faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead

In the Secret, a story is told to support the statement - When you want to attract something in your life make sure your actions don’t contradict your desires

Here’s an extract

…a story of a woman who wanted to attract the perfect partner into her life. She had done all the right things: She got clear about what she wanted him to be like, made a detailed list of all his qualities and visualised him in her life. Despite doing all these things there was no sign of him.

Then one day as she arrived home and was parking her car in the middle of the garage, she gasped as she realised that her actions were contradicting what she wanted. If her car was in the middle of the garage, there was no room for her perfect partner’s car. Her actions were powerfully saying to the Universe that she did not believe she was going to receive what she had asked for. So she immediately cleaned up her garage and parked her car to one side leaving space for her perfect partner’s car on the other side.

The story goes on about her doing the same thing about her making space in her wardrobe bed and concludes with, After taking all these powerful actions and acting as if she had already received her perfect partner, he arrived in her life and they are now happily married

Hang on; isn’t this faith coupled with action? A Biblical Principle?

So fired up with this story I decided to apply some faith to my life – and what a result.

I wrote a list of all the things I wanted in the perfect partner e.g. nice teeth, taller than me, educated, musical, middle class, spiritual, extrovert etc and then started acting as if he’d already arrived in my life. (Okay I haven’t replaced my single bed- would that be going too far?)

The next day, as I was waiting for my train, a guy randomly started talking to me and conversation ended with him giving me his number and asking me to call him if I wanted to go out for a drink. He pretty much fit the brief. I was amazed. Today I met up with him for coffee, which was nice, but spark was somewhat diminished. The learning point is that I need to revise my criteria – not make it focussed on external. Talking to him made me realise there are other things I want in a guy – which he didn’t have.

This is exciting stuff!

Roller coaster emotions

Yeah, this week's been pretty rough, but by the grace of God I'll get through it

I'm so glad I have girlfriends to talk to, who are not fazed by my tears and raw emotions.

Predestination and free will

Calvinists believe that God has divided humanity into two groups. One group is "the elected" and includes all those God has chosen to know him. The rest will remain ignorant of God, and the Gospel. They are damned and will spend eternity in hell without any hope of mercy or cessation of the extreme tortures.

Personally, I think this is rather unfair position. Most of us evangelical Christians put our best efforts towards preaching the gospel to as many people as possible so that they have the opportunity to decide whether they want to accept or reject it. We believe that every one has free will and God does not impose on this.

This may not be biblical but as I understand it (blame it on 4 years Law school), certain conditions must exist before someone can exercise free will ergo: -

1) A person must make an informed decision – having understood the full implications of what they are rejecting or accepting.
2) The person must have a choice in the matter

In criminal law, if the defence can prove that at the time a criminal act was committed, the accused did not know or understand what they were doing, or had no choice in the matter (such as self defence in murder trial) then they are entitled to an acquittal based on diminished or no responsibility. (or they lacked the mens rea if you really want to be technical here)

But if, according to the Calvinists, a persons’ fate has already been decided by God, then clearly they had no choice to begin with? So where's the free will?

I was airing my frustration about this to my friend Jody the other day (don’t act all surprised… I do have deep conversation sometimes!!!). I enjoy hanging out with Jody. We spend a lot of time spinning out wacky story lines for my bestseller (patience my friend... release is imminent...ehem... just need to start writing). She believes in predestination but not in the way that the Calvanists do.

Jody came up with this profound insight. Maybe we do have free will? Maybe there are a myriad of choices that we could make, and God can see how each plays out to their conclusion?

Have you seen the film 'Sliding Doors'? It begins with a woman called Helen on her way home after being fired from her job. The film deals with two separate scenarios that evolve from Helen (a) catching or (b) missing a train. The viewer sees the two stories played out alongside each other. In one story she becomes happy and desperately unhappy in the other.

Perhaps we are all like Helen? But instead of 2 scenarios, there are SEVERAL scenarios, and God knows and sees All Of Them? Or maybe it's what my friend Rene said when I included him in the discussion a few days later

'...that every single alternate possibility that they (people) ever could have chosen has played out in trillions of parallel universes....'

Maybe God doesn't know EXACTLY which particular choice (out of the several) that we'll make at the 'decision points' of our lives. That would be a little more exciting for Him, I think...

But then again I'm just a human trying to understand a big God! So I'll stop here instead of speculating even further

But it makes you think, dunnit?

Wedding Drama

Last Wednesday at 10.30pm I received a phone call from my friend.

"Kim have you got a bridesmaid dress, I am getting married next weekend?"

????

"Kim, Kim, you still there?"

"Sorry, I thought you said you were getting married next weekend?"

"Yes. That's what I said"

I established a few facts like:- she wasn't winding me up and definitely not pregnant ("are you sure?" "Yes, I'm sure" "Really?" "I'd know if I was pregnant, wouldn't I?"

So what preparations have been made so far... Urm... did you say "nothing ?"

Honestly!!

If it was just the registry ceremony that would have been ok, but there's the all important wedding reception to think about! Why do we need wedding receptions anyway? Stressful and a waste of time and money!

It is so hard to plan a last minute wedding on a very tight budget? As in soooo tight with bride and groom both unemployed and no savings! The fact that it's a last minute thing means that none of us friends had enough notice to put some money together to make a contribution. Most of us thought they'd get married next year not next week?!!

The wedding is taking place in Richmond registry office. Richmond is an affluent area, which translates into NOT CHEAP. It's been tricky finding a venue for the reception. On Thursday evening we came across a charming Italian restaurant/wine bar with a private dining area that is available next Saturday. The manager, Stefano is not charging us for hire or decoration of the room. The menu has a choice of 4 starters, 4 mains and 4 desserts; with canapes to start and coffee to finish- and works out to £28 a head. There is also a wide range of wines and champagnes to suit all budgets. He's not even taking a down payment. I just loved it. However, the groom is not too keen on the restaurant. Yes it's a bit on the cosy side, but there are only 19 guests in a space normally used for parties of up to 25. AND he is only charging us for 19....
I wish he would trust my judgement just once. It's not like as if he has the budget to be fussy. He reminds me of that 'Location, Location, Location' show on Channel 4 where the househunters on the lowest budgets are the fussiest! You can almost feel the Kirsty and Phils frustration.

It's a truth universally acknowledged that the less money you have, the MORE you have to COMPROMISE.

The other option was the Richmond Hill Hotel. It's plus points were a stately function room with lots of space and high ceilings. Also location as it is close to the registry office and Richmond park where the wedding party will be taking photos after the ceremony. However, the menu offers a limited choice of only 2 starters (one has to be soup), a vegatarian or meat main dish and only one dessert - for £32.50 per head! This is in addition to the £120 for room hire. Because the room is so big, you'd notice if it wasn't decorated - this will cost some more. The cheapest wine on the menu is £20, and it isn't even a good wine. A bottle of champagne is £70!!!

So there you have it cosy and cheaper or the stately expensive one?

Would be easier if they just scrapped the whole reception idea and just used the money for their honeymoon.

The Weekend break that never was

I am supposed to be in Dublin right now.

When Ryanair put on a special offer of £1 flights a couple of months ago my friend Rene asked if I wanted to go with him for a ‘non-romantic weekend in Dublin”. For £2? SURE!!

I have been boasting to all who would hear (yeah I know... first class irritant me). It’s not every day that you get a £2 return flight to Dublin? And seeing that we’d spent so little on flights we splashed out on a nice hotel right in the city centre. Separate bedrooms of course!!

But I’m not in Dublin…

On Friday when checking in online, I couldn’t print out the boarding pass for the flight back from Dublin. I phoned up the Ryanair customer service desk who explained that boarding passes couldn’t be printed until 15 days before the flight

“ Yes I know that. My return flight is on Monday”

“But ma,am it says here that your flight is the 14 October?

“Yeah. That. Is. MONDAY. It. Won’t. Let. Me. Print. Out. My. Boarding. Pass” Honestly. Where do they get these people!!!

Silence

“Madam, 14 October is a month away”

How could I have missed that? shit shit shit

With a sheepish “thank you for your help” I checked frantically for any cheap flights back on the 14th September – the cheapest was £73. Quick calculations brought me to the sad conclusion that my cheap weekend break was not working out to be so cheap after all. A phone call to Rene to let him know about the change of plan – he just laughed. I also had to cancel the hotel booking and got hit with a hefty late cancellation fee of £69. Ouch

To add insult to injury, I’ve spent all weekend indoors nursing a cold (It’s not swine flu) I just hate being sick

Well the good news is that those £1 deals come around again and you can be sure I’ll NEVER make that mistake again.

Sweden

A friend Ellen lives in Gothenburg with her family and invited us 'girls' to spend summer bank holiday weekend with them. They have a summer house by the lake Valbo Ryr about an hour away from Gothenburg which is really pretty. The view through the huge french windows were stunning- like one of those picture post cards - shimmering lake waters against the backdrop of ever green conifers and aspen trees with their trembling leaves. Most traditional houses in Sweden are made from wood, painted red and white. The air is fresh and it's very clean.

On Saturday Ellen's husband Claude took us out into the woods to pick berries and mushrooms. Most of the blueberries and lingon berries ended up in our mouths (specifically Yati's mouth!!) , but we managed to saved some for a tasty pie which Ellen made later on.
There were so many varieties of mushrooms. Claude tried to direct us on which ones to pick, but when he saw me heading for the lovely red and white capped one (you know the poisoned one that killed Babar the Elephant's grandfather?) , he thought better of it and we were relegated to just watching. The canterella mushrooms which look like yellow brown daffodils, tasted divine when cooked in a typical French dish mixed with scrambled eggs. Fresh food tastes sooooooo good!

When we got back to the house however, Claude warned us to check ourselves for ticks, he'd found a couple on Poppy the dog....

Sweden is to the north of Scotland and Orkney islands which are VERY cold so I was surprised at just how mild the weather was. Ellen explained this is because of the gulf stream. We were not far from the west coast of Sweden also called Bohuslan coast so on Sunday we visited the sea side town of Fjällbacka where Ingrid Bergman used to have a summer house. There is a statue of her in the town centre. The houses looked like cute little Lego (toy) houses - Claude pointed out the Widows walks - sea facing balconies where sailors wives would look out for their loved ones return (or not). Our lengthy climb up the cliff using the sturdy wooden staircase built into it's side was rewarded with a lovely view of archipelago (small islands ) sprinkled around the sea below us. SO beautiful. Unfortunately, the camera battery died so couldn't capture the moment on film. Not to worry. We'll be back.

Afterwards we visited an old Viking burial ground. There was something really peaceful about it. We climbed up another cliff to the side of it to a spot where Ellen said it was customary to call upon the Nordic Gods - Odin, his wife Freya and Thor. So we linked arms at the point, and THEY shouted . I just couldn't bring myself to do it - which proves to me that I am way too suspicious and do not want to invite unwanted spiritual elements into my life.

We drove back singing Abba songs - it seemed appropriate. On the last day we spotted a moose. It was right in the middle of a field just watching us and posing long enough for us to take photos. What a privilege. Apparently not many Swedes have ever seen a moose!

What I really loved was watching Ellen and her family. They are a solid unit, very affectionate and enjoy each other's company. I envy them. I was so challenged that when I got back to London I invited my brother over for dinner. The first thing he did was switch on the TV, talk to on his mobile, play around on my laptop and left straight after supper. Oh well!

It was a lovely introduction to Scandinavia, and I have an open invite to Gothenburg. I think next year when it's warmer and I've saved up I'll visit other countries like Norway and Denmark