Crazy!!!

My life is just crazy!

I knew I was busy - but not that BUSY!!! Work, Church, college, socialising! Okay really I should stop moaning. There was a time when I did nothing, and was so bored! A friend has latched on to me because apparently I have a 'social' life and she needs to remedy the lack in hers. My advise to her, build in a lot of 'me' time into your calendar. 

I've not had a minute to myself. And looking at my calendar... there is no free evening or weekend in the next 4 weeks! 

Okay got to dash to work now.

One hell of a commute!

Started the new job in Westminster on Monday!

Coming from a provincial office, and flung into the heart of Government, to say I am overwhelmed would be a bit of an understatement.

There are security guards everywhere; a special lift for the Secretary of State and Ministers; a subsidised canteen that sells fair trade food and serves healthy meals; a state of the art sports centre with well equipped gym, games hall, scheduled classes e.g. aerobics, kick boxing, tai chi, jazz dancing. 

Some things are still the same as in my old job - flexible working patterns which centre around core hours 10 - 12am and 2 - 4pm. Meaning I can get into work anytime before 10.00am.

Everyone is SMART! 

In my old job, the dress code was casual smart, and I only had 2 formal tops for the odd meeting with clients. This week I've been wearing the same pair of trousers - hoping no one has noticed...  Yesterday I wore a T-shirty type top, but tried to smarten it up with a tailored waist coat. On my way home, I met a friend who on seeing me remarked "Oh so it's casual smart in your new job too" ??? Clearly it didn't work!!! My wardrobe is in need of a major overhaul.Tomorrow, I am wearing 'Monday's' top - now how to make it to look different...

The commute is what's killing me at the moment. TWO hours plus - EACH WAY!!

At the moment I can only afford £13.80 for a weekly bus pass. A travel card which would have let me use the train costs £44. Until I get paid at the end of February, things are looking decidedly grim. Saying that, the journey on the first day was quite pleasant.  I left home arrived early, so popped into St Martin-in-the-Fields church on Trafalgar Square for a quick prayer, and then took a leisurely stroll to the office via the Horse Guards Parade where there was a Guards brass band playing music - all in their furry hats. It was too early for the 'Changing of the Guard'  which takes place daily at 11.00am, and nothing on the Internet seems to shed any light on it, so I will assume it was in my honour! tee hee

The next day was a reverse. I left home at about the same time as the day before. About a fifth way into the journey, the bus slowed to a crawl. There was a massive traffic jam in front of us. The bus driver announced that the jam was not going to ease up and advised us to find an alternative route - i.e. use the train! Unplanned spending! £3.70! Got to the train, and the words, 'packed in like sardines', 'pack animals' will give you a mental image of what it was like! It was awful! I got into work after 9.30, completely flustered! Had to keep chanting to myself "Today is going to be a GOOD day!"

So I need to leave home a bit earlier - probably around 6.30am. I've been waking up at 6.00am, but it takes me an hour to get ready. So will have to change that to 5.30am if I stand a chance of getting into work by 9.00am! 

The good thing about the commute though is that I have enough time to read! So will enrich my mind in the process!

Spirit willing... Flesh weak!

I've spent hours searching through the Internet for Street Dance classes.  These dance schools are NOT serious. One school was charging almost £20 per lesson!!! Now, I've been to a street dance class before, and the most you learn within that 1 and half hours is like 8, maybe 10 steps in a dance routine! That's it! Justify £20 for that! 

I've found one that is cheaper, charges £6 per lesson, which is on a pay-as-you-go basis. So if I can't make a class, I won't lose out on the money. There is the option of working towards a performance (which I really liked). And they are based in North London - nearer to my home. I've taken Salsa classes with them before which I enjoyed, so will be interesting to see how they do the Street dance classes. I start in February.

However, my knees, legs have started playing up again. In a bid to get fitter for the classes, I've been doing some power-walking, and my legs afterwards have been in agony. If walking can do that.... then I don't know how I will cope with strenuous dance routines. The pain is not continuous but comes in sharp jolts, that completely immobilise me for about 30 seconds. The more I exert myself, the more regular the occurence. So there's a connection. I've been to the GP, osteopath and even asked people at church to pray for me, but because I've been unable to pinpoint the pain at the time (sod's law) it's been a waste of time. 

A part of me is saying "Life's too short, just go dance until you can't anymore"

Another part is saying 'You might make things worse, then you won't be able to even walk anymore" 

I remember a woman once told me that she couldn't ride horses anymore because her bones had become too brittle with age and couldn't take it. I felt really sorry for her, because clearly she loved riding. But heck, I'm 33 - so in the prime of my life. If I am to suffer a (little??) pain in my legs as a result of pursuing something I love, then I'll do just that!

Dance

As I was watching Step Up 2 tonight, especially those spectacular choreographed sequences at the end, I indulged myself in a little nostalgia

I've always danced! When we were kids my dad used to play records from his Zaire/Lingala music collection and get us to compete. We'd dance our little hearts out to win the 100 shs prize (worth 80p now, but those days it was worth much more) 

The first dance video I saw was 'Thriller'. I paused, rewound and played it in slow motion until I'd memorized ALL the moves. Other influences were Five Star, Janet Jackson, Paula Abdul, Bobby Brown, MC Hammer, Vanilla Ice (I'm betraying my age... but...yes I'm an 80's child!!) I LOVED all the dance films like Breakdance 1 & 2, Dirty Dancing, Footloose

Secondary boarding school provided the platform for lots of Ugandan kids to showcase our dancing skills. I took part in all talent shows within and outside school. That whole Step Up stuff, the music, dance crews, that was us!!!  So when I got 'saved' as a teenager, it was really tough because as a 'Saved-ee', I was expected to abstain from listening to secular music and going to discos. However, Christian music didn't (and still doesn't really) do it for me. I must confess I sneaked away from time to time - aided and abetted by best friend Eddie who

a) wasn't a Saved-ee 

b) thought I was the only person who could party as hard as he could (I was better but....)

Fast forward to Uni...

Joined a band ' Prim and Propa' as backing singer and dancer, befriended all top club DJ's in Kampala and PARTIED hard  as you do at University (almost flunked out my first year exams!!!)

In my second year, I joined my church choir, and in a desire to pursue a 'Holy' lifestyle resigned from Prim and Propa and gave up partying.  Around this time, my friend Milly created and invited me to join 'The Gospel Dancers'  - the name speaks for itself really. We danced at church, and at weddings. Although the music and choreography were heavily censored- this kept me sane until I left Uganda

Being in London, (far away from Kampala where everyone knows your business) somewhat freed me to start listening to chart music again. I was still restricted because I only had Christian friends who, apart from dancing in church, were not really into the clubbing scene. Clubs were generally frowned upon as they were evil places, 'meat' markets, full of drugs, sex 

I got my 'dance fix' instead through aerobics, street dance and salsa classes at the local dance studio. But I still missed the bright lights, atmosphere, pulsating bass line....

Then when we got to 30 years, Eddie died. 

This has been the most traumatic event and a real turning point for me. It took the loss of a close friend to realise that life is just too short to live by society's expectations. I started doing what I LOVED, like expanding my social circles beyond the Church; backpacking for 3 months, watching Musicals and dancing! 

Being a sort of exhibitionist, I naturally want to get back into performance mode. I'm not as fit as I used to be, but if Madonna and Cher can do it, there's nothing to stop me from getting back on form. I've found a way I can do this in church - but this post is getting too long to include that here... plus it's past midnight and I'm sleepy now...so it will have to wait until the next one.

2009

My friend Tiago has 15 New Year resolutions. 

As I listened to him reel them off over hot chocolate I hoped desperately that he wouldn't ask me the dreaded question, but he did, 

"What about you?" 

"I haven't made any... I kind of make it up as I go along" 

His face registered disappointment... for some reason the kid looks up to me. Good... now he realises that this 'paragon' has feet of clay!

Sounds lame, but really... I don't have any official ANNUAL resolutions. I've made small plans that are not as life altering as his

1) Get costumes for January and February fancy dress parties. February is sorted - sexy swinging sixties mini dress. Now all I need is get one for the Japanese themed Harajuku party on 30 Jan.

2) Pass my Internal Auditor exams which are part of my new job - Yati has warned that I will have to sacrifice my social life (Gasp... cannot begin to even comprehend this...)

3) NOT go on a diet!

4) Attend any free dance classes available- starting with the Samba ones at Guanabara

5) Snog Michael...

I suppose, being a Christian and what not, I really should include a 'Christian' Resolution in the mix. Our first sermon of the year was about the cost of being a Christian and what it means to share in the death of Jesus. 

I don't want to be a martyr.WHAT I REALLY WANT is to challenge and dispel stereotypes that non-Christians (and lets be honest... some Christians) have of the Christian God. For a long time I've been thinking that if people truly UNDERSTOOD the nature of God, which is LOVE, they would not reject Him. Instead, what they  DO reject is the image that we as a Church have presented to them. Which on the whole is not good!

At the moment there are posters on London Buses that say, 'There is probably no God, So now you can get on and enjoy your life' - which proves my point really about how the world perceives God - as a big gigantic kill joy and taskmaster. 

Jesus said that He came to give us abundant life - would anyone in their right mind reject THAT??

Believe it or not, there are some of us Christians whose description of abundant life is not sour faced, petty, guilt driven, fearful life that seems to be the prevailing message coming from the pulpit.

The only way I can communicate the abundant Christian life is to LIVE it. To WALK THE WALK, because the people I meet are tired of TALK! 

Of course, there is hardship and suffering. But I hope that I do not respond to it in a fake 'Christian' I can handle this, because God is in control way, and instead learn how to give full rein to the appropriate human emotions for that moment, acknowledging that the only thing that keeps me from total despair is my faith in a God loves me, has my best interests at heart and will pull me out of this hole.

So that's my Christian resolution - which I can't strictly call a New Year Resolution, because it wasn't just made on the 1st of January. It's been there all along, since my rebirth.