International Friends in London

A couple of months ago, I came across an advert in Gumtree for International Friends in London. 4 friends had gotten together to organise socials for people who were new to London, and wanted to explore London with other likeminded people. Of the original group, Laura from Nice, France remains.
The only condition to be part of the group is that you have to be an International who is living and working in London. I thought to myself. Interesting... might be fun!

I joined their mailing list, but unfortunately could not attend socials that were almost always held on Saturdays- the day I work at the restaurant

So you can imagine how thrilled I was when they organised a picnic in Hampstead Heath last Sunday. I rallied up my flat mate, Yati and colleague Sin to go check it out!

Like any Single, in the back of my mind I was also hoping that maybe I'd meet someone...

I didn't!

What I did meet was a bunch of lovely people in their mid 20's to early 30's from France, South Africa, India, Moldova, Turkey, Malaysia and me, Uganda.

Even though we were from different countries and had different jobs, our 'foreignness' fostered a sense of kinship. I can't explain it. I just felt a connection, like I'd known them all my life. We all have similar experiences... the culture shock, the woes of shared accommodation, the loneliness. ..
At first everyone was a little bit shy, conversation a bit stilted, and the thought did cross my mind to make my excuses and make a quick exit. But glad I stuck it out because when everyone relaxed it became really interesting to hear their insights into and experience of London. Topics ranged from the current economic situation in the former Soviet Union countries, Bollywood, Nollywood (...and did you know there was also a Lollywood?) to Desperate Housewives and Ugly Betty!
There was a lot of jokes and laughter... a great afternoon!!
When we were leaving one of the guys commented
'Well that was a productive afternoon. Otherwise I would have spent it on my own... in my flat.., lonely...'
Which elicited a lot of 'Awwwwsssss!"
We all hugged goodbye and exchanged 'mwah mwah' French style kisses.

Yati and I agreed that these are the type of friends we would definitely like to meet up with again.
I'm looking forward to the June event which will be at the London Dungeon and then a lunch at nearby Borough market!

Online Dating... again!!

I've been feeling lonely, so once again have turned to online dating. Signed up to 3 websites - christiancafe.com, Tangowire.com and loveandfriends.com
The first few weeks have been spent feverishly checking my mail, responding to 'winks/smiles', emailing but with very little success
On Christian Cafe, I seem to be attracting only Nigerians and recently a 55 year old man who was looking for a woman in her early thirties who was 'keen and able to have children soon, not overweight'. Hmm... a broodmare I think. Clearly he had not read my profile which specified desired age range (30 and 40), and that I was not interested in having children.
On Tangowire, I was contacted by a randy Italian whose idea of a compliment was 'You are also sexy! I seen it in your eyes, and I would try on my skin that sexiness'.
Er... delete!!!
Then there was the Bostonian who used so many ellipses (...'s) that his emails looked like a 'join the dots' page

I joined loveandfriends last night so still waiting to see what happens there.

A friend recommended, The Rules for Online Dating by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider and my eyes have been opened to all mistakes I've been making e.g. a long 'heavy 'profile, initiating contact with guys, being too available by responding quickly to emails and Instant Messages, responding to 'smiles' which according to the authors involves no real effort on the man's part- merely a click of a button. He could send 'smiles' to scores of women

"You want man who reads your ad and writes you something, however short, and specific to you"

But what if no one I like is answering my ad, and I find or receive a 'smile/wink' from a guy whose profile is simply too good to be true. He is definitely my type in every way and I feel I just have to answer his ad?
Well the authors have said, even if this happens, ignore it!

"The man must initially feel a spark for a woman; the man must pursue the woman; and all men love a challenge. If you are answering a man's ad, you are not using any of these premises... answering a man's ad is to pursue a man..."

"If you write a light and breezy ad and post your best headshot and still don't get a lot of responses, just tell yourself it's not your time"

Sensible advice.

I know as Christians we are cautioned not to take 'worldly' advice, but such issues are never addressed in Christian circles. The occasional Singles seminar that are dedicated to bemoaning our unfortunate state.
Perhaps this is the reason why there are so many Single women in the Church?

I've been Single a long time, I don't want to be Single anymore and to be honest at this point I'll take any advice that works.

From now on I will be a 'Rules' girl!