I am halfway through my round the world trip adventure and beginning to feel like I made a really big mistake! I'm not that in to animals and nature, plus too shy to initiate conversations with strangers. Unlike my friend Simon, I'm not particularly witty. I don't know how to make great conversations, not even a good listener, but I love being around people. So have been eavesdropping quite a bit...
Yesterday it was bitingly cold in Melbourne. I'd just wasted a lot of money at the Royal Melbourne Show which was principally about farm animals, junk food and loads of screaming annoying kids! The multicultural 'entertainment' was mediocre. A bit of a disappointment as had really been looking forward to the Maori and Indigenous gigs. Boring!
I'm supposed to use this trip to reflect on my life, decide what to do next, get over A...
He is from Melbourne, and I can't stop thinking about him - A LOT!!! Is he thinking about me? Most likely not. But I continue to hope and delude myself! He's emailed a couple of times - brief polite emails in response to my long wordy ones. Kim you idiot! My sensible side, God, friends, family all say "Get over him, move on! There's plenty more fish in the sea". Yes, I acknowledge that this is true, but the only 'fish' I'm interested in right now is A! The heart is a deceitful thing!
Yesterday after a long pity party, to which a whole bottle of Pinot Grigio was invited, I decided I'd had enough of feeling sorry for myself and to count my blessings instead
1) God's got my back - this whole trip has been one of wonderous provision. Almost all the friends who have hosted me in these strange countries, I met in church. Part of the Body of Christ.
At the moment I am really broke, but strangely not worried about it because I know God will provide for me. Faith or stupidity? I like to think it's the former
2) I've got friends back in London whose emails keep me sane - Simon, Sheila, Jeff. Whenever I feel 'homesick', I reread their emailsa. It lifts my spirits.
3) I am healthy
4) I've visited places I only dreamed about. I never EVER thought in my wildest dreams that I would visit Australia. Meet an Aborigine. Eat kangaroo steak. See a possum. How many Ugandans can boast the same?
5) I'm British - it opens a lot of doors
6) No responsibilities to tie me down. I'm free to make my own decisions and to act irresponsibly. Loads of my married friends told me they were envious of me
and so on and so forth
So really life isn't bad and I am grateful to God for where I am right now! Look at how much He has done for me. I shouldn't be focussing on the ONE thing that has been denied to me... A!
Please God help me to get the right perspective and see things through Your eyes!!
